this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2026
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I don't usually have sufficient motivation to post much on any social media platform. This is rare for me. I am putting this out in the world in part hoping for some validation, in part hoping it sparks some kind of social action to save some semblance of privacy and dignity in this modern world.

Warning: this is long.

I just wrote an email to a recruiter withdrawing my interest in pursuing a job (it's a recruiter hired by the hiring company). I am a software engineer with decades of experience who has been unemployed for almost a year with almost no interviews. I'm hungry for paying work. Yet. I did this. Below is the email I wrote, and it is hopefully self explanatory.

I think my career might be over - especially if the kind of process I experienced is now the standard for hiring. I want nothing to do with it.

I wrote this after multiple days of trying to set up my system for the "assessment". I ended up having to install Windows 11 (I'm a Linux guy) because the assessment environment simply didn't work. I tried FireFox, disabled plugins, tried two versions of Chrome - neither would work. It apparently had to be the Google version.

I upgraded an old version of Win 10 (because Microsoft pretty much forced it). Got it to work on Firefox for Windows.

Twice, mid-way through the assessment, it reset itself to square one. I didn't try a third time. This assessment software monitored my face and would raise an alarm if I looked away. It controlled my microphone. It required full access to every aspect of the browser and had me do an alt-tab partway through this "test" in order to ensure I wasn't using any other software. Insulting. Invasive. My equipment. My home.

---- the email ----8<----

First, I appreciate your understanding and that you gave me what information you have on how this software works. Now, the hard part. My disappointment will show in the text, and it is not directed at you or your company.

I'm inclined to cease pursuing this. I feel insulted by the process in the first place, but went through it understanding that we, as job seekers, have to accept compromises we would not otherwise accept because having a job is a fundamental requirement to literally survive and provide for our children.

However, the more I'm expected to change my personal, owned equipment and software in an invasive fashion just so some stranger can have 100% surveillance on my activities in my home in order to be considered for a job interview, the more insulted I become.

Granted, I'm unusual. I've dedicated myself to protecting my electronic privacy by installing malware and advertisement blockers on my phones, computers, tablets. I use VPN. I built my own home NAS because I am uncomfortable with placing all my personal, financial, and health records into "the cloud" (and being charged for the privilege). I am teaching myself how to use AI by downloading and running models in my home lab because I don't want to give out my privacy and income to strangers.

I stopped using Windows at home years ago because I could not stand the way it was dictating to me how to run my computer and constantly seeking to part me from my money with distracting advertisements while siphoning everything about me back to their servers to better market to me. Worse, it was forcing me to buy new hardware in order to simply run the system after upgrades.

Here I am, faced with a stark choice. Debase my values for the sake of the possibility of a job with a company that apparently doesn't consider applicants worthy of dignity, or remain unemployed - possibly forced to exit the career I love if everybody is doing this - and potentially fall into poverty.

If they're doing this before they even talk to me, it tells me that as an employee I will have at minimum this same level of surveillance. Knowing this in the back of my mind will burn me out in under six months.

Unfortunately, I don't think I could live with myself if I chose the first option, so I respectfully withdraw myself from this process. I'm a professional. I expect to be treated like one. If there are companies who are serious about hiring a professional, I'm all in. Please engage me.


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[–] Curious_Canid@piefed.ca 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I am also a software developer. The interview process in our industry has become increasingly offensive over the last 30 years. That started out with high-prestige companies who provided exceptional pay and benefits. Some people were willing to put up with that, so they mostly got away with it. Now most companies assume they have all the power and can demand whatever they want from applicants.

Refusing to participate is perfectly legitimate. It may keep you from finding a job, at least in this industry, but that may be better than giving up your self-respect for basic survival. And there are still decent software companies to work for, although they are hard to find. Changing careers is also a viable option.

Our overall economy is so broken in favor of the super rich and their corporations that individuals really do have very little power. Organized actions, of various types, give us some counter-leverage. Collective bargaining, strikes, and political efforts to push for better regulations all have the potential to improve things, at least in the middle- to long-term.

We all need to keep the big picture in mind while we do what we need to get by individually.

[–] mad_djinn@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

this kind of disaffected 'we'll get to it later' politicking is what got us here in the first place. sucks to be u, CA

[–] ALilOff@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I feel this is the one of the after effects of AI is now a common distrust in anyone applying to a new role. With the rampant rise in cheating/faking one’s own skills with the utilization of AI comes with recruiters having to come up with a rather invasive way to ensure recruits aren’t utilizing AI during interviews to test real skills we’ve developed from our own experiences.

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[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

If the company goes to those lengths to try to catch assessment cheaters, it's not going to get better if you get hired. If they suspect you without having a reason, then they will always suspect you. You made the right choice.

[–] duncan_bayne@lemmy.world 57 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The hiring company failed the interview. It happens, and IMO you've exercised good judgement here.

My personal suspicion is that this sort of inhumane, inhuman, hiring process filters for people who are either desperate for work, or who don't see anything wrong with this sort of thing.

[–] fort_burp@feddit.nl 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I totally agree. It's a test of submission. I bet my life savings that job would have increasingly creeping amounts of unpaid work and extended working hours, with the implicit threat that saying no means you're fired.

[–] MasterBlaster@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

You mean like my last job. Yes, it was the insulting treatment at my most recent employer that gave me an extra bit of self respect that pushed me to make that decision. The proverbial last straw.

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

IMHO, the response is a bit wordy, but I agree with where you're coming from. You should consider trying to work for yourself, it may be very rewarding for you.

[–] MasterBlaster@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, I do tend to over explain and it does annoy people, especially my son. I have a near pathological need to make sure others understand the why. I'm working on it.

Been looking into Stoicism lately, and not explaining yourself (to people who don't care or can't comprehend) is one of the tenents - not wasting precious energy.

[–] WhoIsTheDrizzle@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

If it's worth anything, I appreciate the level of detail in your explanation. It makes you more human and allows me additional points to empathize. Also, if I were a hiring manager and had the background on your approach to technology, I'd be much more inclined to hire you.

[–] paequ2@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

You should consider trying to work for yourself

How do you even start this?

[–] duncan_bayne@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I experienced a similar thing a few years ago, applying for a management position with a nonprofit. (A nonprofit!)

My reply ...

Hi $PERSON,

Your application was strong and we’re really pleased to advise you that you’ve progressed to the next stage.

Great! Thanks for getting back to me so quickly.

We’d like you to answer a few quick questions using our online video platform, SparkHire. This will help us get to know more about you and what skills and experience you can bring to the role, the team and $NONPROFIT.

...

A set of questions will appear on the screen (some filmed, others just text) and you’ll have the opportunity to create video recordings of your answers, within a specified time limit. You can review and re-record your answers as many times as you need.

I'd love to catch up either face to face, in a video chat, or even a phone call to discuss how I could use my skills and experience to help out the $NONPROFIT team. To be honest though I'm not at all keen on recording a one-way video interview.

I do have several concerns with SparkHire (no data retention policy that I could find; and enhanced privacy protection for EU customers only; email instructions years old that referenced Flash).

But my main concern is that the idea of one-sided video interview feels ... well, one-sided and dehumanising. To be honest it's quite the opposite of what I'd have expected from the employee experience of an organisation like $NONPROFIT.

Even if I were placed in the role, I'd be reluctant to refer friends if they were also required to participate in a one-sided video interview.

Please drop me an email at $EMAIL or give me a call on $PHONE if you'd like to chat further, either virtually or in person.

[–] Hypnotoad_@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This was a spot on response. Tells em you are in charge of your own morals while still keeping the door open. A wise recruiter would see the error of their ways and apologize and skip the one sided bullshit.

So you won't be getting that job lol

[–] duncan_bayne@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

No, though they did see if they could bend the process for me. Turns out not.

Keeping doors open is important. I once had a great contracting gig as an exec EM with an org that had more or less fired me (declined to renew my contract while keeping the rest of the team) some years ago. Second time around they wanted my approach, first time I stepped on toes.

Unless the reason is something truly egregious, don't burn bridges on your way out, even if you've had a bad time. Organisations change as their management changes, and you never know where you'll be in a decade's time.

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[–] OctopusNemeses@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah, I've had this type of interview lately. Not for software though. You install what probably might as well be a rootkit on your machine. They monitor your eyes through webcam. The slightest detection of your eyes looking away is an instant fail. That's the gist of the process now.

Unfortunately for most people, they aren't technical enough to know what they're getting themselves into. They just follow the instructions.

Nobody is going to read the mountains of terms and conditions of all the services required to jump through along the application process. People are just trying to get a job to they can eat tonight.

[–] golden_zealot@lemmy.ml 227 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I’m a professional. I expect to be treated like one. If there are companies who are serious about hiring a professional, I’m all in. Please engage me.

That's really well said.

I remember being in the same situation a couple years ago in which I was accepted to an interview through a video chat web application hosted by the company.

To my horror, when I joined the meeting, it was not a video chat interview. It was a series of recorded clips of their HR person reading off questions, the clips pausing, and then a timer showing up on the screen noting "You have 15 seconds to answer".

I was so put off by this that after the first question, I decided to spend the rest of the time I was being recorded explaining to them under no uncertainties that this was one of the most unprofessional interview processes I had ever engaged in, and that they had made it clear that they did not value my time whatsoever, so I had no reason to reciprocate.

[–] IdleSheep@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Unfortunately I'm inclined to believe this is on purpose to filter out people with self-respect such as yourself.

It's not just a cost-saving thing (though I'm sure that's also a factor), it's a way to make sure the only people who go through with such interviews are those who are very desperate. Because people who are desperate are more willing to subject themselves to poorer work conditions.

Companies will only stop doing this when it actually stops working, which is unlikely given the massive inequality in our world today.

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[–] MasterBlaster@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago

Yeah. I half expect that if I went to the next step, I'd be in an AI Zoom interview next.

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[–] Armand1@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Playing devil's advocate: The reason companies feel the need to put these systems in place is most likely because many candidates cheat using chatbots.

In my company, until very recently, engineers were running the first and second stages of interviews (right after CV vetting) and I've heard many times in the last couple of years that my colleagues suspected candidates of using LLMs. There would be unnatural pauses, typing after every asked question etc.

Granted, I don't think any have slipped through to being hired, as it's still pretty obvious, but I can understand why companies may want to put safeguards in place.

Are they going too far here? Absolutely.

For us, we actually sit with the candidate in a pair-programming kind of setup to gauge their vibes, way of thinking and confidence as they solve coding problems that closely match what they would do on the job. That usually eliminates "seniors" that haven't coded for 5 years or that got there by nepotism or sheer passage of time.

[–] nshibj@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Then the solution is to do an on site Interview, not to ask a candidate which they'll later reject to install spyware on their personal computer.

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[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Most serious tech companies have just straight-up stopped all remote interviews. It's simply too fraught with cheating, fake people, and foreign operatives. Interviews are in person and include hand-written code, because we're back to high school trust issues baybeeeeee

[–] silasmariner@programming.dev 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

We let people use chatbots in our technical interview and don't even mark down for it, since they're a tool that exists.

I have yet to see a candidate who uses chatbots be anywhere near as good at producing good solutions quickly as the ones who don't.

[–] MasterBuilder@lemmy.one 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Here's the interesting thing. I found out any kind of computer use during an interview was "cheeting" during my prior job search. For years, I'd been taking notes during interviews, like names, key points about the job, answers to my questions. Somewhere along the way, that became a problem. I also used to search for things occasionally.

Silly me, I thought searching, researching, taking notes, etc., was part of the job and an indication of smart working. Now, we are expected to recall the smallest syntax detail from memory - On the spot, while being watched and timed, in a high stakes interaction.

This is less like someone looking for paid help for a business and more like a sadistic exercise in prisoner torture.

Now, imagine having ADHD and going through that.

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[–] SupremeDonut@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago
[–] chillpanzee@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Instead of declining the role, you should have told them their assessment platform is so broken that it's undoubtedly costing them good applicants, and that you'd be happy to make that your first project as a staff engineer.

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[–] harsh3466@lemmy.ml 114 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Jesus. That's brutal. I'm not in the software world and have never experienced an process like you just described.

I do remember feeling similarly disgusted years ago applying for a retail job where I had to do an insulting "phone" interview/test where a computer asked me a bunch (like 20-30) of dumb fucking questions like:

  • "Have you ever stolen money from your job?"
  • "Do you think it's okay to come to work drunk?"
  • "If you put money in a vending machine and got two items instead of one, would you put additional money in for the second item?"

That last question very specifically is one I'll always remember because of how incredibly stupid and insulting it is.

I hope you find work at a company that respects you as a human being and as a professional.

[–] Zak@lemmy.world 97 points 2 days ago (8 children)

“If you put money in a vending machine and got two items instead of one, would you put additional money in for the second item?”

No, I fucking wouldn't, and I wouldn't like to work for anyone who wouldn't hire me because of that fact.

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[–] utopiah@lemmy.ml 21 points 2 days ago

Why would you feel bad, the interview is a 2 way process. They are evaluating you but YOU are also evaluating them. It's actually VERY costly to you too if you start working for the wrong company. If you realize after a week or a month that truly the culture, the tooling, etc basically anything but the pay does not match YOUR needs, whatever they may be, they you HAVE to pull out.

You can be polite about removing your application, as you were, but you should not feel bad. It is precisely WHY there are interview. Candidate think about it as only them being evaluated and that's very wrong. As your title says clearly it is about self respect but not just during the interview, the whole time. If you are not a match sure it does suck, for both, but that's again better than a forced match that will bring both down over time.

Finally regarding your last part, I recommend you edit your post to put your precise skillset and experience there. Hopefully someone can refer you to the right place.

[–] Crylos@lemmy.world 52 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I've been in the industry for decades, and perform interviews for entry level up to and including principal level. This form of interviewing is absurd, invasive and useless. It will NOT tell you how good someone is... any monkey can write code, the real question I always try and get a handle on is:

Can they solve complex problems? How do they tear the problems apart? How do they apply technologies to do so?

In person (or video) is the ONLY way to tell how good they are.

Take home tests are useless.

Good on you for telling them no in a very professional way.

I hope you are able to find something soon, it's a really tough market out there!!!

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[–] jdr8@lemmy.world 91 points 2 days ago (3 children)

As a rule (at least for me), never never ever accept take home assignments or tasks that either require full control of your pc, or requires you to pull some sketchy repository from GitHub.

That’s one way to get infected with malware and potentially have your data stolen.

If you have to absolutely do this, do it on a VM.

But 99.99999% of the cases, there’s no need to install control software to a pc or having a 3rd party lib installed.

If a recruiting company requires this, then it’s a red flag.

You did well. You’ll find something soon.

Stay strong!

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[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Don't give up. This invasive testing happens with companies that outsource HR....I have always refused these tests and refused anything that requires take home evaluations.

Last time I was job hunting, I rigged my resume to pass AI filters and get to a headhunter. Once a resume is in front of a human, things are different.

Getting through the 1000 resumes and being the one they look at is the key, and crafting a resume that checks all the AI requirements is the key

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How it would have gone for me:

"You need to install this Windows software for the assessment."

"I don't have Windows."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Bye bye."

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[–] Wren@lemmy.today 26 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Good on you. I turned down an interview at the first level because they asked me to download one program, I said I'd be happy to download anything they want if they bought the hardware and paid for my internet.

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[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 76 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (6 children)

I'm a highly experienced developer staying in a very low-paid job because the work is not for an unethical purpose and there's relatively little employee surveillance or corporate politics. I know developers aren't in a powerful position right now but I admire your reaction. It's no way to treat people, and they won't stop treating candidates disrespectfully until they see that it hurts their ability to hire. I expect the day will come soon when I have to make a decision like you and could be forced to leave this field.

[–] primalmotion@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

I know developers aren’t in a powerful position right now

I think we're always in a somewhat powerful position, as we can always create our own shit, like we always did. Look at us here.

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[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I'm an engineer with ADHD. If an interview tried to get me to use software that requires I not look away, they will be informed that the ADA requires they provide me with reasonable accommodation.

(My current employer does, and they get the high quality of work they deserve.)

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[–] helloyanis@furries.club 47 points 2 days ago (1 children)

@MasterBlaster If the company is in the EU, and they use AI to do facial recignition, that is actually illegal! See https://natlawreview.com/article/use-ai-recruitment-and-hiring-considerations-eu-and-us-companies

[–] MasterBlaster@lemmy.world 48 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Yeah, but lucky me - I live in the "land of the free". At least, it used to be true-ish. Not anymore. For example, Flock cameras are going up literally everywhere at lightning speeds. It's near impossible to buy a car without GPS tracking and full time internet connection, etc., etc..

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[–] Saurok@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

You set and communicated a healthy boundary. I think your email clearly communicates your reasoning and expectations and hopefully the recruiter passes it along to the company itself so they can receive the feedback, or at the very least uses it to tailor what sort of opportunities they send your way.

[–] someone@lemmy.today 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

top part of monitor: "genuine" windows qube in HVM -->sys-residentialproxy ---> sys-vpn ----> sys-net

bottom part of monitor: tor browser chatting w/ ai ----->sys-whonix--------------> sys-vpn ----> sys-net

but it's easier said than done, and more than that, it's fucking infuriating having to do any of this shit.

i fucked up an interview because it took me an extra 30 minutes to find out chromium wouldn't work, firefox wouldn't work, and only plain vanilla chrome would work. you're not the only one who has been fucked by this. the interview platform demanded chrome but won't tell you; you have to trial and error find out. corporations want grateful docile slaves. it's time consuming to figure out what normie bullshit each asshole corp wants.

it's really fucked. when i use privacy preserving techniques, often company anti-fraud systems flag me as "fraud." but if i actually use "white hat" tactics that "ethical pen testers" use, suddenly i'm allowed to have privacy and use my own system and they think i'm a normie.

sometimes i don't even care any more and use systems that obviously seem like fraud, because it's just me and not fraud and i hate them, and then if they think it's fraud who gives a fuck. if they flag me as fraud, i'll go with another company. none of their shit stops anyone good and these anti-privacy companies get a false sense of security from all the "amazing" cloudflare blocking and anti-fraud protection... they are getting charged blocking real users and then one day someone brutal and sophisticated comes, someone not like me who doesn't know shit, and just destroys their servers.

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[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 53 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I've told recruiters that if they don't allow remote work then they can fly me out for an interview if they want more than a phone call.

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[–] Kongar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Some job advice:

Look at industrial automation companies. DCSs, PLCs, historians, MESs, etc. Those are “old” technologies now. Their world was one of proprietary hardware, networks, and code. But it’s been converging with traditional software and IT for decades. There’s a huge need to connect those “behind the firewall, closed systems” with corporate data so it can be mined, reported on, used in ai applications, linked with corporate ERP systems, e-commerce, you get the idea. Old farts like me can engineer circles and build cool things with panels and power and ladder logic and fancy bus networks and pumps and valves - but we have zero skills to take our closed system data and put it in a webpage, or link it another application. People like you who come from “the outside”, learn a bit about industrial automation to be dangerous, and then help companies do the above tasks - well they are invaluable to me.

The reason I say this is two fold - 1) it’s an unmet talent need and 2) you would never find an insulting interview process like that. In fact, you’d find the opposite- they want to meet you in person and regularly take you to meet with customers.

It’s more traditional work and that’s not for all - but it sure doesn’t have all that intrusive interview bs.

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[–] bananabread@lemmy.zip 24 points 2 days ago (2 children)

You're career is not over. This is not how interviews work.

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