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JPMorgan CEO Warns AI Will Wipe Out Desk Jobs, Urges Workers to Lean on Soft Skills
(rudevulture.com)
Is guillotine fabrication a soft skill?
this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2026
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I sure hope so! 🙏✝️👻
Always crazy how the position thats the easiest to replace with a LLM, the CEO, seems to be immune to being cut. Curious.
Yeah you don't even need AI a simple traditional algorithm can be setup to always make the choice that benefits the share holders. That's all they do
You’re forgetting valuable soft skills such as sociopathic “I’m sad too” all hands meetings after layoffs, back room deals steeped in corruption, and pressuring middle managers to put profits over people.
AI can’t do that.
Hold my beer
I'd rather hold a mushroom cock tbh smh
He wishes and they will try despite LLMs being nearly worthless slop generators
Humans are nearly worthless slop generators
-This class's mentality
Has anyone asked these CEOs: “Okay, let’s follow this to its conclusion: you’re laying off thousands of jobs citing AI, and other CEOs are doing the same. There are hundreds of thousands of unemployed people with a gap of available jobs. How do you expect them to survive?”
I know the answer they’re thinking is “go work the fields from all the people we deported”, but I’d love to at least seem them dance or flounder.
How do they expect to survive themselves? If common people don't have money any more who needs the bank?
A quick search showed that JP Morgan Chase make 42% of its 2025 profit from Consumer Banking. What I couldn't find is how much of that Consumer Banking is "common people".
I’ve been out in charge of ensuring we use the only AI product that is potentially capable of removing humans from their jobs so that we can prove that it doesn’t perform even at the same level of the average person. We know it doesn’t but proving it is harder since the team stopped using it as a tool a month ago. To use the tool takes learning a new job workflow for a proton of their function. It’s a pain in the ass and takes longer to use the tool than not (which is why they stopped using it). So, not all leadership is stupid and some do listen. Why burn a ton of money on this tool if it’s not capable of a better ROI?
Guy who would let your entire hometown die to save himself a quarter thinks people skills are what matter.
Uh huh, sure.
Once people like him are truly lords again they will want deferential but well-mannered human servants, at least a few.
Funny if we weren't working with a capitalist work or die political and economic system, this would be good news
Technology is supposed to free us to pursue happiness
I have a question. AI is good at writing middle school essays, and can generate interesting pictures and music. For anything more intricate, it is, in a very obvious manner, so bad that its use is a liability.
So, how many desk jobs at JPMorgan involve writing many middle school level essays? If I mentally wander through the enterprise where I work, there are maybe a percent that would even be able to make use of LLMs to generate essays about obvious stuff, one of the positions being the CEO himself, of course.
Does anybody here see themselves being replaced by the bullshit generators?
As far as I can tell the AI thing is an excuse; the jobs are really being cut because we're reaping a harvest of policy so bad it's indistinguishable from sabotage, and the AI thing is being used to ease the fall without spooking investors straight into a stock market crash
Only due to executive short-sightedness and the fervor around using AI to do everything. The truth is, I will get laid off not because the AI can do my job, but because decision-makers can't do theirs.
My hope is that the bubble collapses before that day comes. It's the only thing that can save me, the perception of AI in corpo culture.
Does anybody here see themselves being replaced by the bullshit generators?
That's why trillions of dollars has been spent on this rather than on giving a livable wage: so they will never have to pay a livable wage. It might be a good bit worse in many cases but, under their rules of capitalism, worse is tolerable if the rest of us are made destitute.
chuckles uh-oh, I'm in trouble!
Does Jamie Dimon not do work at a desk? If not, how the fuck does he work? Sounds replaceable by AI
Can an LLM play golf? Thought not