this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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[โ€“] GraniteM@lemmy.world 62 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Velypso@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Urethral fisting ๐Ÿคฎ

[โ€“] elDalvini@discuss.tchncs.de 44 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A guy walk into a bar and pulls out a scale model of a grand piano, as well as a wooden puppet. The puppet immediately animates and starts playing the piano.

After a perfect performance of Mozart's piano sonata No.11, the puppet gets up, bows to the audience and falls lifeless to the ground. Everyone is astounded.

The bartender asks the guy: "That was great! If you don't mind me asking, where did you get a puppet like this?"

The guy hands him an old golden oil lamp. "You see, I found this lamp. If you rub it and say what you want, a genie pops out and grants the wish. Give it a try, if you want!"

The bartender is sceptical, but tries anyway. "I wish for a million bucks!" Immediately the bar is filled with a giant flock of ducks. On the tables, on the bar, on the ground, ducks are everywhere.

"What the fuck?! That's not what I asked for!"

The guy chuckles. "O yeah, the genie is hard of hearing. Did you really think I asked for an eight inch pianist?"

[โ€“] Buffalox@lemmy.world 35 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

That's not a cock, that's a hen.
My guess is the joke was supposed to be about something about a big cock.

Otherwise I simply don't get it.

[โ€“] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

How can you tell? It's so crudely drawn it could go either way.

Could've drawn a tiny guy playing the piano if we're recycling old jokes.

[โ€“] Buffalox@lemmy.world 25 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Try to look up white hen, and then look up white cock.

[โ€“] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago

You're right, the "white cock" gave very different results

[โ€“] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 weeks ago

Itโ€™s a pedantic difference sir, but it checks out.

[โ€“] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago

โ€œI wish I had a giant cock!โ€

Intense wheezing appears behind you as the unnatural cockerel struggles to survive under its heft and heat

โ€œYes, suffer as I do.โ€

The wish going as intended seems a bit worse

[โ€“] callyral@pawb.social 7 points 3 weeks ago

"When i said I wanted a big chicken i meant a big chicken sandwich"

Old joke, older connotations...

[โ€“] hOrni@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Better than a midget playing the piano.

[โ€“] EnsignWashout@startrek.website 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Ohhhh... It took me (checks post age) seven hours to get it.

[โ€“] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 3 weeks ago

Most original joke

[โ€“] notreallyhere@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

still cool tho