"In Cuba, we were upper-middle-class," Vivian said. "My grandfather was a bank vice president; my father worked for another bank and also wrote comedy sketches. We lived with extended family in a chic apartment. My sister and I had our own room; my brother had his own; we had a maid who lived in a small room behind the kitchen. She was a Spaniard and blind in one eye. I was a little scared of her."

The only reason Cuba has so many doctors is that Fidel forced dissidents into medical school. A five year old who was crying too loud? Medical School. His neighbor who never shuts up about his lawn? Medical School. A raccoon he found on the side of the road? Medical School

As any Cuba related thing comes up, we must remember that in Cuba, a secretive, oppressive government has rounded up countless people, imprisoned them without trial, subjected them to horrific torture for decades at a time and that same govt laughs in the face of the international community's pleas to stop or even just let impartial inspectors in to ensure even a bare modicom of humanity for those poor souls left to rot.

I'm talking about Guantanimo bay of course.

I swear shit like this is custom-made to make me depressed

Surprise! Ice cream cups on my desk! Can confirm that praying to Fidel for ice cream works.

lol this sounds like one of the many rumors spread in Cuba by the literal CIA about how the commies are gonna end religion and take your kids.

i thought this site was supposed to be funny

Robert Evans is the editor of the personal experience section of Cracked, and he tweets.

Where have I heard of this guy before?

i dont know why but i clicked on this expecting it to be an article about awesome facts about cuba, but written sarcastically.

“One day, my sister came home and exclaimed, ‘Fidel is better than Jesus!’ In school they had asked the kindergartners to close their eyes and pray to Jesus for ice cream. When they opened their eyes – nothing. Then they closed their eyes again and prayed to Fidel for ice cream, and … surprise! Ice cream cups on their desks! I remember my mother’s reaction: ‘Helado! Que rico!’ She totally avoided any other comment for fear of whatever she said making it back to my sister’s teacher.”

I'm pretty sure this is a fake story that was repeated from defectors from the Soviet Union trying to make money off the anti-communism train.

The good news is that this is Cracked.com and no one reads it anymore so shrug

“One day, my sister came home and exclaimed, ‘Fidel is better than Jesus!’ In school they had asked the kindergartners to close their eyes and pray to Jesus for ice cream. When they opened their eyes – nothing. Then they closed their eyes again and prayed to Fidel for ice cream, and … surprise! Ice cream cups on their desks! I remember my mother’s reaction: ‘Helado! Que rico!’ She totally avoided any other comment for fear of whatever she said making it back to my sister’s teacher.”

:dril:

What actual year was it that cracked turned to shit? I remember it feeling like an almost overnight thing. Years of being prescribed Kermit pills hasn't made me a chud, but has made it so I can't remember shit.

Fidel is better than Jesus

:yes-comm: