I ritually take a shit in the morning
this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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Before getting out of bed.
Best part of waking up
🎵Is shitting in your sheets.🎵
you wake up to shit? usually it's the reverse for me
I once had an archeologist friend explain, completely unironically, how weekly meal-prep is a modern harvest ritual.
I think the problem is that the meme is presented as making fun of archeologists for calling everything they don't understand "ritual", when it really should be about how the definition of "ritual" has crept so far out of scope as to include everything they do understand, too.
The root of the word ritual is "ritualis", relating to a religious ceremony or rite.
The modern definition might be "things done the same way every time" or "things done in a prescribed order". But, it doesn't make sense to me that you include activities where there's zero religious or spiritual component. I can forgive someone saying that drinking coffee is part of their morning ritual. Coffee is a strong stimulant, it clears the mind. You're using that as part of your ritual preparation for the day ahead.
But, is the drive to work also a ritual if you take the same route every time? Is the way you tie your shoes a ritual just because you do it the same way every time? Or is it just a habit? Maybe it's the only way you know how to tie your shoes and you do it the same way every time because that's the only way that works.
I don't think eating hot dogs at a baseball game is a ritual because your choices are constrained. It's not like you can ask for a bowl of spaghetti instead. For some people it might be a ritual. Maybe for them going to a baseball game feels like a religious experience where they spend time with a community, engage in familiar chants, etc. Maybe they're salivating on the way to the ball park, imagining that hot dog that's a big part of the experience for them. For other people, it might just be that they get hungry after sitting somewhere for a couple of hours, and hot dogs are one of the few choices available to them at a baseball park.
Words change in meaning, but it seems to me that if "ritual" just means doing things in a certain order, you're losing essential meaning. If there's no deeper feeling there, just call it a habit or a routine. Otherwise you end up with a dumb situation where you're claiming that workers in a slaughterhouse are performing ritual sacrifices of all these animals, just because they're killing them in the most efficient way over and over.
I don’t think eating hot dogs at a baseball game is a ritual because your choices are constrained. It’s not like you can ask for a bowl of spaghetti instead.
you gotta hit up the giants' stadium in san francisco. the food is half the reason to go
Yeah, every time this perennial question arises I just get them to start enumeration thier own activities that CERTAINLY aren't ritualistic, and then I argue that they're also ritualistic.
This very conversation? It is itself a ritual. I am summoned by the argument. I ask the ritualistic question. We engage in the ritual back-and-forth of "no it isnt" "actually yes it is". Everyone leaves frustrated and dumber for having participated. Like clockwork.
I ritually watch home alone 1 and 2 every winter solstice uwu
I ritually watch A Christmas Story myself.
A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
We switched back to a French press because I missed the ritual of preparing it. K cups are stupid and boring.
Produce a lot of plastic waste too
I wouldn't call going to the gym ritual. Ritual implies significance beyond the direct effect. The gym is routine, but you're doing it for a reason and it's unlikely to take on a life beyond that reason. Compare that to the Thanksgiving dishes where when asked "why turkey" the response is most likely some variant on "it's Thanksgiving, that's what you do". Morning coffee is a ritual because for many people it becomes the signifier between the early morning waking up period and the awake and ready for the day period in a way that extends beyond the caffeine (see people acting the same way with decaf and not considering a caffeine pill a sufficient equivalent)
Oh I don't know about that I think for a lot of people going on to the gym has taken on a life of its own. Some people make their whole personalities around it.
This is a pet peeve of mine: Scientific terms ("ritual" in this case) that also are commonly used in everyday language, but have a slightly-to-massively different meaning between the two worlds.
This "ritual" vs. "ritual" is a harmless example (that only annoy archeologists, which is fair, because they are overusing this even if you understand it as scientific term) but if you watch (early) Jordan fucking Peterson talks, he does this extensively; using Psychology-specific scientific terms that are misunderstood by the public, and he and his crowd are both too stupd to notice. (nowadays, he is just spewing insane bullshit, so, no more confusion there)
In case anyone's interested, here's what the lore says:
Back at the very turn of the 19th-to-20th century, the Boston Americans (later Red Sox) used to play their games at the Huntington Avenue Grounds, a decade or so before Fenway Park was built.
Outside the stadium, there was a German gentleman with a grilled wiener cart, he sold his product on a sheet of waxed paper, with mustard. That way, his customers could avoid getting their fingers all greasy.
The Boston Americans were a great team back then, super popular with the city locals. One crowded baseball day, the vendor ran out of wax paper!
What to do... what to do...? He got it! He gave money to his employee (or son, I don't recall), with urgent instructions: "Quick, run to the nearby bakery and bring me as many french rolls as you can!"
And thus, the modern concept of the hot dog was born. According to the lore.
Everyone over here being like "actually calling it a ritual is accurate". Meanwhile I'm like "Hold the fuck on. How exactly is baseball considered 'divination'?"
The absolute best MLB teams only win 60-70% of their games. Individual games are basically a coin flip, trying to discern skill and forecast future performance may as well be a divination ritual. We just decided that statistics is a better name than omens.
If a bird flying by gets obliterated by a 103-mph fast ball, it signifies a bad harvest.
102-mph fastballs mean a good harvest. baseball is so complicated
Divination is a delicate art, not a science.
I ritually bitch about ditches.
Bitch about the ditches and burn through the witches I slam in the back of my dragula
Spread season's greetings And slide down the chimneys And give all the gifts Cause I'm Santa Claus
I for one feel like the turkey ritual sacrifice could stand to be even more religious, if not downright culty: candlelight only, black, hooded robes, religious chants in a dead language, the works.