memes

I wanted a sautéed onion candle so I can get my roommate's hopes up for a good dinner.

I started watching TV cooking shows in the late 90s (e.g. Good Eats, Iron Chef, Naked Chef etc.) and I would just cook what I saw for my friends. They were all "wow ChickenLady you're such an amazing chef" for a few years until they started watching that shit themselves. Then they were all "you should have used white balsamic vinegar and black garlic in that".

My wife was making dinner the other night. As she was getting ready to chop an onion, the 6 year old wandered into the kitchen and commented "That's big garlic!"

She refused to believe it was an onion. Then she skipped right back out of the kitchen. We just laughed.

Butter is missing from this

I remember reading a comment on here one time that said anytime you’ve got people coming over for dinner, cook some onions and garlic in oil, even if you don’t need them for the meal. The smell alone will both make your guests hungry and also get excited for a good meal (assuming they’re into food).

the picture correctly includes double dose of garlic, but i'm missing the paprika and lard/bacon. source: i'm originally from hungary.

I've long meant to publish a cookbook but since it's probably not going to happen I'll share my concept here. It was going to be called "it starts with an onion" About 90% of the dishes I make start this way. Even if a recipe doesn't call for it, I'll often just start with some diced onion in oil and then began the recipe. If you have some ingredients around and you are trying to think of what to do with them, envision a Dutch oven or frying pan with some softened salted chopped onions in it and start planning what you will add too it. It's a solid start to many a meal. Also, don't underestimate shallots. They are like if garlic and onion had a baby.

I feel like one of the garlics could be replaced with a shallot.

Smoked anything, as well. My guilty vegan addition to too many meals is Liquid Smoke it smoked paprika. Makes nothing ingredients like bland beans and tofu actually taste like something.

The jury is out as to whether these delicious ingredients will cause cancer. Probably not any more than me overcooking everything to get a delicious char, this setting off the smoke alarm whenever I'm allowed near a burner.

And when you can't cook at all just throw in some butter and/or bacon at the end and BOOM!...tasty and delicious!

Also use some wine for even more smells! Even when cooking Western food, I've grown fond of using a little bit of Shaoxing wine, and replacing a bit of salt with a dash of soy + fish sauce for more complex umami

Should be clarified butter or a a more neutral oil.

Using olive oil for sauteeing isnt the worst but it’s kind of mid. Heat will bring out bitterness and the smoke point is low. Save your olive oil for finishing dishes or using in cool/cooled preparations, where its aroma and fruitiness can actually shine instead of getting dulled by heat.

Secret to my mushroom, tomato, or any other sauce that needs umami

spoiler

Then ginger, cardamom pods and cinnamon sticks.

Garlic, onions, and butter are my holy trinity

You can also drizzle olive oil and za'attar on top of anything and basic bitches like me will think it's fancy.

Go to an international grocery store and buy a jar of anything you have trouble pronouncing.

Missing salt, rookie mistake.

Lately I feel like I should just make a Mexican spice mix and put it in everything. Less cumin, more types of chili powder, a couple small vidalia onions, a few peppers and I really couldn't care what you put in it and I'll be happy. Chicken, pork, beef, goat, I'm sure tofu would by fine by me. In rice, a burrito, taco, enchiladas, anywhere really, fuck out it on a pizza or in a calzone, or a puff pastry, it'll work out.