this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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it's 1513 and nary a cracker in sight, I've done all I can to build as many hospitals as possible, and I'm worshipping the disease resistance goddess (hexbear.net)
submitted 6 days ago by LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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I'm going to be really mad if the -90% fuck you you're dead Great Pestilence is hard coded to do -90% of the population and all these hospitals and shit are literally for nothing. It turns out I can't just build fucking hospitals, I need to upgrade my population centers into towns, then into cities, total cost like $1700 just to do that, and they need 20 development which woops I only realized in 1460

but hey I have 7 hospitals and with the religion bonuses that's like +30% disease resistance

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[โ€“] Parzivus@hexbear.net 15 points 6 days ago

I'm worshipping the disease resistance goddess

I know it's a videogame but come on Paradox lol

[โ€“] YEP@hexbear.net 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Towns spread disease faster ๐Ÿ˜”. I think you may be better off killing your roads and whatnot and maxing out raising levies when it hits to save those pops

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 14 points 6 days ago (2 children)

if towns spread disease and the only way to build a hospital is to build a city then idk i guess everyone is just supposed to die

[โ€“] YEP@hexbear.net 3 points 6 days ago

I think the point is you concentrate pops into a city with a hospital w migration attraction and optimize pop growth in rural locations.

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 15 points 6 days ago

HOSPITALS WORKIN' GREAT (pestilence isn't here yet (pestilence meaning white people))

[โ€“] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 14 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Did you install the mod that gives you some fking tin so that ur not stuck on stone tools for 300 years

[โ€“] kleeon@hexbear.net 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Mesoamerica not having a single tin rgo is such a weird oversight considering Aztecs were well known to use bronze. I understand bronze usage was not widespread but it just feels weird to not even be able to produce bronze tools unless you colonise a lot. Maybe they could lock bronze behind a tech and then add the ability to change location's rgo to tin when you unlock it?

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Yeah I'm not a big fan of Paradox's decision to make Natives dumb pig brain people who literally can't figure out how to dig an iron mine without The White Man teaching them feudalism

they've done this in every EU game really but then they always inevitably add ways to westernize and "fix it" (cough cough DLCs, you know there's gonna be some Aztec shit) and it's like can they just please make it not shitty and racist from the start?

like I get that they don't want natives to explode and do ahistorical shit every single game, but like, i'm the player, I'm playing with blessed external knowledge, like the knowledge to build as many fuckin' hospitals as I can before the plague ships get here

The Tin thing seems to be intentional because they literally already patched in "more tin RGOs to the Americas" and still didn't touch it. There's like, two of them up towards the coast near the gulf of california, but at the rate colonization goes it would take like 300 years to get to it (it's seriously fucking slow, what the fuck)

I think they even made colonization slower, because last time I tried to colonize towards that tin I almost made it by 1500 and this time I'm not even halfway fuckin' there

[โ€“] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago

New World can charitably be called a placeholder continent at the moment. The Andes is even worse I mean, its all dying of hunger permanently at release.

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 13 points 6 days ago

No i just Skill Issued it with the stone and learned to ride the supply shortage dragon

Also i deleted every market but mine and the Aztecs basically give me stone and buy my tools

[โ€“] kleeon@hexbear.net 12 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Would be interesting to see if this actually helps (I doubt it). Pestilence is one of the biggest reason why I don't want to play in the Americas right now. Paradox really needs to change it

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 11 points 6 days ago

I'll let you know if it does, hospitals really helped my population not collapse in Portugal during the plague so i figured id give it a shot

Castile just showed up neighbouring my colony in Texas but i'm gonna lie down for a bit u_u

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

trip report but it at least shows up as a "disease presence" vs "disease resistance" indicator

this fucking game keeps not screenshotting the actual thing that's on my screen and instead screenshotting shit that was there like minutes prior, what the fuck, I keep having to fight this shit to post

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

cool so I had to savescum because the Great Everyone Fucking Dies happened right before castile landed their armies, so Everyone Died at literally the worst fucking time

but woops castile NO CB'd me, so it's "show superiority" and for some fucked to death, please fucking shoot someone at Paradox reason, as the defender I don't get a ticking warscore, so I'm stuck sitting at 6% warscore and castile won't land their fucking armies until the fucking disease attacks. what the fuck is this shit

[โ€“] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You gotta alt tab twice. The game will screenshot the last image you tabbed away from.

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 2 points 6 days ago

:| that's dumb i hate it

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

real trip report: I kept savescumming because I'm trying to fucking get 10 warscore so I can make castile give me fleet basing rights but there's no way for me to get warscore while they refuse to send troops, and after the great pestilence it's like cool I have 4k levies now

Anyway, this is the population graph

75% dead, which I think is an improvement? I think the first time I did this it was 5.3 million pops down to 1 million? idk

[โ€“] kleeon@hexbear.net 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

jfc hospitals did basically nothing. Playing in the americas looks miserable right now

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I mean I think the first time I had an absolute and total collapse of industry and this time I'm kinda recovering? It's just like 40 years later and my population has only increased by 300k so that kinda sucks. But hey, I just colonized my way to Tin! It's 1559 and time to make some naval supplies, yee haw!

at least castile hasn't tried to kick over my sandcastle after the first time, I was mad I couldn't get fleet basing rights but I ended up getting all the institutions anyway (and wrecking my stability embracing them all). White Man Proximity has allowed me to learn to dig out iron! wow!

P.s. yeah if anyone wants to do the math the first playthrough when I posted "what the fuck is this shit" I had like 5.3 million people down to 1.03 million, this time I had 4.03 million people down to the same 1.03 million. So, I think they definitely did something, it's just... I'm still so absolutely wrecked I'm at the mercy of Castile's AI. I think they see me having most of Mesoamerica as subjects and they're like "hmmm nah" even though they didn't hestitate when we had near peer manpower

P.p.s. the pestilence shit mostly just sucks because I hate the "knock you down and rebuild" in general, I don't like it from the black death either, but also with this it happens after the Europeans have recovered, so, you're kinda fucked

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm "slightly weaker" than Castile, England and Burgundy combined with my potential 102k levies but woops everyone's about to die :(

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

those stupid fuckers declared war on me before disease did

I probably can't win but idk I have most of mesoamerica working for me, almost all the way up to the aztecs is either me or one of my two vassals, and then the biggest aztec is my junior partner in a personal union

btw do you see what I see? awooga awooga awooga awooga

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)
  1. stupid fucking game keeps screenshotting shit like 2 minutes after it's on the screen
  2. stupid fucking website seems to have rate limited me for trying to fix that
  3. why the fuck do the natives die from the great pestilence literally 4x faster than europeans die of the fucking black death
  4. CASTILE NO CB'D ME, SO I CAN'T GET ANY FUCKING WARSCORE TO GET THE ONE THING I ACTUALLY NEED, BECAUSE THERE'S A FUCKING ARBITRARY 10 WARSCORE DEMAND
  5. the AI just magically knows it can't fuck with me so it never lands any fucking armies until after the great pestilence procs and kills everyone. 2+ years without a single spanish soldier, but the warscore doesn't fucking change, FUCK YOU PARADOX

[โ€“] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 9 points 6 days ago

I'd have enough warscore but 4 of their provinces turned into New Spain, despite being occupied, making them not-occupied and not at war with me, which is on top of everything else exceedingly fucking annoying.

[โ€“] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I kind of want to get EUV, but I also don't want to pay for the 15 DLCs that have also come out in the month since it released(I assume, since it is a paradox game). I was hoping this one would actually flesh out non-European cultures a bit, but it looks like they're specifically targeting the CHUD audience with it, they got really scared when communism was the best economic system in Vic3 and it pissed off the CHUDs.