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[-] Hobart_the_GoKart@lemm.ee 33 points 1 year ago

I've really fantasized about being able to view my stats after I die. I come back to word counts pretty often. Or how many "near misses" I've had, if any I suppose.

[-] DrMango@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Holy shit I thought I was the only one. I've thought about this for decades! I think it would be so cool to have access to and comprehension of an omniscient record of my life after I die.

How many liters of urine did I expel? How many birds have I seen? What is my most used word? How many miles have I traveled? The data is endless!

[-] Hobart_the_GoKart@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Yes yes yes! All these trivial things that I will look up and say "Neat!". My heaven is pretty simple haha

[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

What is my most used word?

The

[-] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Nah pretty sure my would be uuummmm

[-] potterpockets@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 year ago

Number of times people have masturbated to me.

(Spoiler: it’s zero)

[-] KammicRelief@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

but how do you know?!?

[-] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 year ago

How much splooge I've nutted in whatever the funniest whole unit could be

[-] ADHDefy@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My suggestions for units of measurements, in no specific order:

  • Thimbles
  • Water balloons
  • Per hoppus foot
  • Cord and rick
  • Burlap potato sacks
  • Waffle irons
  • Size 11 wooden clogs
  • Drums
  • Silos
  • Minecarts
  • Blimps/zeppelins
  • Potential babies
[-] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You've nutted 397,405 times the total earth population last year. *

~measured as per sperm, not by volume or weight~

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Are you by any chance the cum box dude?

[-] ADHDefy@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Oh dear, I was hoping that one would die with reddit.

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Well, it became internet history years ago. So... unless you want to spend your one chance to change history on the removal of the cum box story, I don't see any other way. Haha

[-] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I'm thinking teaspoons.

[-] Rocky60@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

How many times I’ve gotten out of a comfortable sitting position to let my dog in

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

In Soviet Russia, Bear-that-ate-dog lets YOU in!

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago

my massive massive penis length. But not how female I am. or how much of a liar I am.

[-] ADHDefy@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

I believe that someday scientists will develop a tool that will be able to accurately measure your gargantuan penis, once we have the technology.

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

I look forward to breaking such a tool with my tool.

[-] GONADS125@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Big dicks come with big dick problems.

[-] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

Disk, RAM, CPU and GPU usage stats compared to other people. I suppose a lot of them are built like proper servers with their good memory while I can't remember jack shit, like information from RAM never get stored.

[-] Meowoem@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

Frequency of nice things said about me per year, especially as a ratio of good to bad.

I'd be fascinated to know what the peek's correspond to

[-] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 10 points 1 year ago
[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Psssh, such a Squirrel answer🐿️

[-] noseatbelt@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago

How many times I've been right when my husband and I have differing recollections of something.

[-] GONADS125@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I am in the 1% of humans worldwide who can lick their own elbows.

Please, no autographs..

Edit: I'm dumb and misread the question. I read it like: "What statistic about yourself do you desire the world to know about?"

[-] AverageGoob@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Give me my brains S.M.A.R.T stats. I feel something has been rattling up there so feel it's about time to be replaced.

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I would love to know how many websites I've visited since I began using the internet.

[-] theodewere@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

total number of mouse clicks

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Are you a FPS gamer?

[-] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 year ago

Total hours spent listening to music. And where I am on the leaderboard lol

[-] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I just want to know why the only women willing to give me the time of day are mentally unstable abusers.

also, maybe, how long of a wall 3 foot tall and 6 inches thick could have been made from my total bowel movements.

[-] Bebo@literature.cafe 6 points 1 year ago

Details of what all books I've read. Impossible to remember details

[-] Ejh3k@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

How many French fries I've eaten.

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Status effects.

I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with my brain.

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Don't we all?

[-] sntx@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Total amount of Energy consumed

[-] there1snospoon@ttrpg.network 4 points 1 year ago

How much money I’ve spent on her.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I wanna see my KDR.

"Hold up... How is it 684:10?"

[-] fluke@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Found the cat.

[-] livus@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Runway remaining/life expectancy.

[-] theskyisfalling@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 1 year ago

I'd want to know how many bong hits I have taken in my life.....

[-] Globulart@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Number of joints would be a depressing number I fear. Amount spent on weed would probably hurt more, but put that next to amount spent on alcohol and I'd probably feel ok about it.

this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
60 points (98.4% liked)

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