this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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my-hero

"Grok you gotta tell them about my Olympian physique"

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[–] lib1@hexbear.net 51 points 1 month ago (4 children)

“despite scale” is the funniest way to say he has 14 fucking kids

[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

1.4 * 10^1^ kids

Translated for my fellow Eloncore STEMlords who couldn’t tell what that number meant

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have 11 fucking kids. Or maintenance techs, as they like to be called. Sometimes they get a little twitchy when I call them kids.

[–] Azarova@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

He has way more through weird, I don't know what to call them... contracts?, with women to carry his children that aren't very public and with whom he has no formal relationship with.

[–] Castor_Troy@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

And he's hoping for 88 grandchildren.

[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 48 points 1 month ago

This is honestly embarrassing

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's unbelievable. I could maybe believe that Grok glazing Elon's intellect is organic because there are enough bozos out there who genuinely believe that he's a genius, but the part about his physique? There's no way Elon himself even believes he's physically fit. Who is he trying to impress with this?

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's no way Elon himself even believes he's physically fit.

You sure about that?

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

If questioned, I could 100% see him pulling a Trump and going "yeah I'm fit as hell," but in private...I dunno, I want to say he probably honestly believes it too.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

Who is he trying to impress with this?

Anyone. Anything. Desperately.

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wish AI had given us Data from Star Trek instead of just being a tool for rich people to do horrid shit

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

He automated the task of glazing him on social media, now he doesn't have to pay people to do it.

I don't think that's ever been confirmed, but reddit-logo had accounts whose posting history consisted entirely of comments defending Musk.

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)
[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don’t have twitter, but someone should make it glaze Elon over “impressive” attributes like having the foulest shits or the most annoying personality

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Having the most kids who despise him

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

A few of my students got it to talk about how great he is at drinking piss today.

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

Remembering the time Musk wussed out on a fight with Zuck because his mom said no

[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tyson in 2025 would beat Musk, but there are literally tens of thousands of boxers in the world (if not more!) better than Tyson because he's just so old now, so he's not a great example.

I think it's funny to imagine Elon being good at feinting. It's an actual skill and not just something you can accomplish by being generically intelligent (not that Musk is, but just to explain the further absurdity).

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

20-something Tyson is fucking nightmare fuel, though. No matter how much training Musk does at any point in his life, he wouldn't last more than a few seconds in the ring. It's wild watching someone with Tyson's size have that much speed and flexibility while being able to punch through other heavyweights' blocks.

And Musk thinks he can compare to one of the best boxers of all time? I'd pay money to watch him try remain standing after getting punched once by Tyson. He'd probably puke and piss all over himself, curled up in a fetal position, if he got hit in the stomach.

We need a Logan Paul vs. Musk fight, and someone needs to illegal-to-say redacted-1redacted-2 minecraft :anarcho-tire-iron-posting: the venue

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

Implying that Musk is out there personally launching rockets by hand?

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Tyson's age

Bro Elons not even that much younger than Tyson, right?

[–] ComRed@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's amazing how he keeps finding new ways to be the most divorced man in history.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

He truly is a world-class innovator

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

I feel like all the divorced men need to get together and condemn him so they don't have to be associated with him.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

All that money can't buy self confidence or friends

Reminds me of Notch buying a wall of candy that just went bad because no one ever wanted to visit him, since him becoming a billionaire was well after he was oustered as a Gamer ™

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 month ago

That seals it, I'm creating my own chat bot

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

i am also functionally resilient. the amount of fast food i ate in my teens and 20s should have killed me.

but here i am, with the vitality of a man with tremendous capacity for clock drawing.

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

We should test his functional resilience, a little run around Death Valley sounds apropos.

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Mecha hitler on the cloud

who is smartest, attractive, fittest, strongest,........................................................................................................................................................................................................................elite path of exile player of them all

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago
[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

The platonic 'for go, not for show' 'functional strength' Joe Rogan listener

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Upper echelons for physical resilience?

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

He ate a gross yogurt once and didn't even cry