this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Asklemmy

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The boss walks in, there's someone on the phone for you:

  • Phone: "Hi, I'm the leader person behind that book/television/film franchise you complain about online and gee-whiz, you're right! We want you to run things from here on out."
  • You: "Do I get supreme retcon powers?"
  • Phone: "Of course! We'll even retroactively edit in your changes!"

Huh, that was easy. What are you changing?

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[–] lemuria@lemmy.ml 1 points 4 days ago

More The Expanse. More Chrisjen Avasarala. More!

[–] badmancrooks@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago

HBO can pump out a whole 'nother Game Of Thrones spin off that I couldn't give a fuck about but they can't reshoot the last 2 seasons and maybe add a few more to fix the fucking mess that we ended up with..

[–] lichtmetzger@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Give Voyager one final, long episode with a proper sendoff (instead of the half-assed one they did), where we can see how the characters actually ended up in the coming years. With an epic orchestral soundtrack, at least one really good space battle scene and a lot of pathos, it deserves it! ST: Picard is also considered non-canon (the first two seasons have been a shitshow and the third was just nostalgia-bait anyway). So nothing that happened to Seven of Nine in that plotline ever officially happened and the final Voyager episode can utilize some talented writers to make it good.

...and also delete the episode where some crew members become animals and bang each other, because excuse me, what the fuck was that?

World of Warcraft, I'm making the Legion no longer all aliens, they're demons from Hell again. Also the Draenei look exclusively like the Broken, no pretty goats allowed.

Yes I am retconning a retcon, it's been ~20 years and it still bothers me! also ig Shadowlands never happened, just for good measure.

[–] chookitypah@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

The Wheel of Time show.... Change it to be like the books. I felt like the books read well and could have been adapted without changing much. Keep to the source material and embellish areas that weren't as well discussed like east of the waste, the islands to the west, etc.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 1 points 5 days ago

I'm deleting Homeworld 2 from existence.

I'm cutting the original storyline of Five Nights at Freddy's off at the third game and removing Afton's weird implied Pamela-Voorhees-meets-Gendo-Ikari motivation for his murders; he kills for a feeling of power and punishment. As much as I like the sci-fi elements, they utterly ruin his character. I'd also remove 3's cutscene of him coming back: he's dead, and he stays dead.

However, I do believe there would be room for sequels after that. I think it could be neat to have games skipping straight to the Vanny story and making her an actual developed villain as well as a real copycat killer, perhaps even starting a small cult of sorts around the Fazbear brand and Afton's legacy.

[–] Majestic@lemmy.ml -1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Star Trek.

Everything after Voyager gets axed completely. 100% retconned. Doesn't exist. You can't even joke about happenings in it in any new works.

Voyager and DS9 themselves get trimmed down. DS9 loses 75% of its episodes, Dominion war erased, mundane space station stuff instead, no religious weirdness validated. Voyager gets better ending but retains most of its episodes.

ToS gets turned into legendary chronicles rather than full canon with the more absurd less science bits cut out or reduced to the fantasies of the chronicler. Main stories and characters retained with >=80% of it surviving. Movies from both ToS and TNG era retain full canon status.

It is established that alternative dimensions are extremely limited in number, you cannot do Marvel universe #69 stuff with it, the main one is the nega-universe with evil everything and a few other isolated pocket universes that are short-lived and unstable (often as a result of warp core implosion weirdness and such).

All existing writers and producers currently associated or associated since the end of the Voyager era are summarily fired with prejudice. New ones are hired and quizzed by me to ensure at least the main producers are communists like Roddenberry and do not want to turn my hopeful FALGSC property into grim-dark in space IP number 3. Prominent transgender characters are MANDATORY in the new series and other steps will be taken to drive every last reactionary out of what's left of the fan-base.

It becomes studio policy to viciously copyright strike anyone uploading video of retconned parts of the IP to any platform as well as to bully journalist insiders with access into adopting the new line by excluding anyone who disagrees with it from access or favor.

On Section 31 and ideologySection 31 as an organization is rewritten, it exists but is full of the most die-hard communists you'll ever encounter, they use a modified hammer and sickle with a third more spacey symbol as their crest and do NOT dress like Nazis but like communists in dress and battle uniforms inspired by real world communist movements. They are charged with neutralizing dangerous reactionaries within the federation admiralty and power structure as well as being foreign intelligence. Notes are given to the writers that they are shadowy but heroic, decent, and good as well as very dedicated and the organization screens for and staffs itself with selfless individuals. Several new episodes involving their members getting into time travel and holodeck shenanigans in 1930s, 1940s USSR where they are wowed and amazed at the heroes of old around them.

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 1 points 6 days ago

I...BNW? LD?

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

Jar Jar is the sith lord as intended.

[–] EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

All of the Kelvin-verse Star Trek movies and all Disney-canon Star Wars content.

.......Except for Andor and Rogue One. That shit is tight.

[–] neon_nova@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

I agree about the start ears stuff after watching Andor I was like F the Jedi story line, I want more of this!

I don’t mind kelvin since it’s its own universe. Also I think it got lots of people into trek. The 09 movie is what got me started on the series and now I’ve seen it all many times over.

[–] Kwdg@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

But why the kelvin universe, it already is its own canon

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 8 points 1 week ago

Yeah, that's easy to ignore, if you insist. Not even a mention of the whole Picard disaster? Weird.

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[–] Mesa@programming.dev 15 points 1 week ago

The Legend of Korra spoilers:

spoilerKorra doesn't stakelessly get her bending back 15 seconds after losing it to Amon. They had the opportunity to give her the self-discovery arc that they tried to shoehorn into the post-Zaheer poison recovery.

The series could've had much better footing, in my opinion, if Korra had wrestle with that just a bit longer. Instead, a bunch of bald people show up and say, "I got you, Holmes," and then she's good as new.

It's been a while, and I've lost some of my steam over this. But yeah, that's the only one I've got the energy to type out right now.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Do I also have unlimited money? What am I saying, the BBC is obviously swimming in money. Undo everything until shortly before the Doctor regenerates into David Tennant again and instead commission Studio Ghibli to do a 26 episodes series based on my Doctor Who comic about 13 and Rose, voiced of course by Jodie Whittaker and Billie Piper.

No, I don't at all hate everything since Jodie left, I just prefer my vision, that's all. :D

Okay, I am a merciful god - if the BBC have to watch their budget this year, we just undo The Power of the Doctor.

The Master's plan is now not simply to swap clothes with the Doctor (????) but to actually swap faces. Jodie gets to be the Master and go bonkers on the universe while the Sacha Dhawan!Doctor has to convince Yaz (cue lesbian confusion) that he really is the Doctor and then go after the Master. At the end of TPotD, the Jodie!Master still regenerates into David Tennant (wearing 13's clothes for fuck's sake) and the 60th Anniversary is about how the Master uses the Doctor's most popular face to absolutely ruin their reputation in all of time and space.

(Donna, after having her memory forcefully restored, instantly clocks that this is not the Doctor she knows but is forced to accompany him because he is threatening her daughter. She complains loudly about everything he does.)

In the end, the Doctor still regenerates into Ncuti and we'll see where to go from there.

... can 13 and Yaz at least have the chastest of kisses on the lips before the end? That'd be fine too...

[–] benagain@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hmm, I'll have to run it by the head office but I think unlimited money should be okay. (and heck yes, I'm down with this vision)

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[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We're bringing back Sliders without a reboot.

It was the real Arturo that got left behind in "Post Traumatic Slide Syndrome", and Remy ends up finding him again after his cliffhanger solo slide.

Working with Arturo, they manage to get a slidegate up and running to go back for the others. They also find a dying copy of Quinn along the way who has some valuable Kromagg info and end up merging him into Mallory like the accident that melded our Quinn into him, in a last-ditch effort to save him. The presence of this third Quinn, who is almost like the original, outweighs Mallory so we have Jerry O'Connell back in the cast.

The gang all back together, they go to deliver the Kromagg bio-weapon in Remy's blood and succeed. It's now slowly spreading across all worlds. But the Kromagg big bad they're fighting during this process sets off some kind of nuke inside a slide-tunnel, destabilizing the entire thing and basically scrambling sliding across all worlds. Even if you knew how to precisely connect to a world before, it goes somewhere else now.

And now we're back to the classic formula, we can do whatever we want from here.

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[–] justdaveisfine@piefed.social 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

343/Microsoft should have let Bungie's "ending" for Master Chief stay - Where chief saves earth but gets put into indefinite cryo as he is forever lost in space.

It would have put him full circle (as he was a superweapon waiting in cryo when the series started) and it would put him into a state not unlike the halos themselves, which I think was Bungie's intent.

There are a lot of stories and things to explore within Halo's universe and I would like to see more of those than bad-guy-of-the-week that Chief has to stop.

[–] arcidalex@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

100%. I don’t mind the idea of a halo 4 it’s just that it didn’t have to be chief in it. 343 just uses chief as a crutch because they fundamentally misunderstand Halo

I did think bringing back the halo wars crew was a good idea i just wished halo 5 had nothing to do with it. Maybe continuing from there with Jerome taking the spotlight wouldn’t have been so bad

Also the TV show. It still boggles my mind how that fucking thing was made despite all the lore Halo has. But having a TV show or movie in itself wasn’t a bad idea. Following a crew of ODSTs through the covenant war would have been pretty awesome

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The Last Jedi doesn't happen the way it did. Instead, the moment on the island where Rey tries to hand Luke the lightsaber has him reject it in anger and anguish, afraid that the past he thought he had left far behind him has re-emerged. It does not get casually tossed off the cliff for a cheap giggle. The reasons for the rejection can be broadly the same, if necessary, but they can be shown in a less weird and melodramatic way.

In this new version, Finn gets something (anything) to do, ideally something that will bring he and Rey closer together by the end.

Poe does not play "Can you hear me now?" with Hux. There is no casino planet, no obvious double cross and no little moppets with magical broomsticks.

Luke does not die at the end. Leia dies at the 2/3s point, and it's this that finally brings Luke back into the fold, perhaps to get revenge, perhaps to honour her dying wish, whatever.

Snoke is not discarded like a used tissue. Kylo and Rey still communicate psychically, but there's no hint of romance. Instead he starts to tempt her towards the dark side, leveraging the pain she feels towards the parents who abandoned her.

I dunno, just something which follows on more naturally from TFA, which is darker, and which definitely is less silly than what we got.

The Rise of Skywalker is in many ways the same as in reality, but it's Snoke and not the Emperor that's the Big Bad (although maybe you get the Emperor involved as some sort of Force ghost mentor to Snoke, or whatever). It follows on much more naturally from TLJ, because it doesn't have to spend the first 30 minutes doing major course corrections. Finn and Rey get together, only for one of them to be killed off... or were they?

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[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I would tackle some of the sloppiness of Fallout's lore in relation to the Bethesda games.

Primarily, I'd set Fallout 3 like 25 years after the bombs instead of 200. It never made sense to me that creatures or people can survive 200 years in a location with poison water. I'd have to take out the Ghouls or alter the lore there a bit, though.

I'd revamp the plot of Fallout 4, either making it totally about the synths or removing them entirely, and also set it shortly(ish) after the bombs fell. Bethesda doesn't necessarily make bad games, they just don't fully consider established canon before making creative decisions. Which irks me tremendously, because really all you have to do is hire one obsessed nerd and run decisions by him.

[–] Flamekebab@piefed.social 2 points 6 days ago

This right here.

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[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Warhammer 40k, dumping at least half of pyrrhic shit and needless grimdark but also bringing back the old lore that humans caused chaos.

[–] besbin@lemmy.ml 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Isn't Chaos a part of the universe just like space and time? Those Eldars, Necrons and old ones are basically the one that leave it chaotic and volatile way before human even comes into existence. True human is the dominant life form that's feeding it, I don't know when have it ever been human who created Chaos.

Old lore was that humans are responsible for the creation and empowerement of the chaos gods except slaanesh. And while it was never mentioned for ages in franchise at least the empowerment is certainly true since pre Horus Heresy the presence of chaos in the materium was so pitiful that 200 years of Great Crusade barely managed to discover anything substantial. Hell, Word Bearers actively searched for any chaos with dozens, maybe hundreds of fleets and only found it after years of searching. Also while you look at the manifestations of chaos there's barely anything that can't be traced to humanity, there's much talk about chaotic xeno spiecies but their actual effects are always very local (except eldar and slaanesh).

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Star Wars Episode 1-3 revamped with better actors and writing.

Everything Disney except Rogue One related material gets scrapped and redone.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 1 points 5 days ago

It needed better writing and directing, but the actors were very qualified for their roles.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

you no like jar jar binks? what did general jar jar binks do to you? πŸ€ͺ

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 days ago

He took up 17.5% of the screen time in Episode 1, all of it annoying pointless nonsense ... that's what he did.

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 1 points 6 days ago

Can midichlorians be eliminated ?

[–] boobs_@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I give Monolith Soft the funding and popularity needed to be able to create all 6 originally planned Xenosaga games instead of the 3 we got

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

Immediately reshoot Season 8 of GOT with what I thought was going to happen.

[–] moleverine@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Completely jettison all of Star Trek Discovery and the Section 31 movie.

[–] felsiq@piefed.zip 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I’m shocked nobody has said game of thrones yet

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Everybody's hoping GRRM is already on the task.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fine, I'll tackle it. It now ends like The Village. They were all in a big Renaissance Faire the whole time. The organizers are arrested and placed in the backs of police cruisers.

A Song of Ice and Fyre Festival.

[–] slacktoid@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago

Spider-man one more day. Just let aunt May die. Have Peter go to therapy or something for the grief, then years later do a reveal that it was Norman Osborne the entire time.

[–] Ardyssian@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Command and Conquer - the Tiberium Saga. Leave Tiberian Sun and Firestorm alone, modify C&C 3 to have better continuity with Tib Sun and Firestorm on the state of Earth (i.e. Tiberium Fauna and Flora, further degradation of Earth environment). Remake C&C 4 where base building is part of the core gameplay element again, and delay the deus ex machina effect of the Tacitus such that the Earth is not in such a pristine state as what we do see in C&C 4

[–] HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

That time Janeway and Paris hit Warp 10 in Star Trek.

Such a cool concept ruined by such a stupid episode.

Also Trip doesn't die.

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[–] ChocolateFrostedSugarBombs@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Delete everything that happened in the Battletech lore for where the last civil war book ended. Then keep writing the civil war timeline so it's actually finished instead of where it's been left.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Oh man, I think we could be friends.

I have most of Dark Age on my shelf but I've barely read it.

Lol yeah, I was reading them chronologically...60-ish books in or whatever I'm like wait... You just gonna leave it at Vlad and the Steiner-Davions like that?! I don't get a resolution for Kathryn? I don't get a resolution for my peeps in the Wolves in a Exile?! Just gonna jump decades into the future?

Well I don't like that at all...

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