this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2025
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I just provably passed for the first time since starting my transition. Got a match on Taimi and after an initial compliment (apparently I have a nice smile 🥹) I got a "you aren't a woman?!?" "I am a woman, but I'm trans". . I'm not a fan of the passing culture, but it still felt damn good.

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[–] hodgepodgin@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I would advertise you’re trans so you don’t surprise the other person tbh

[–] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Yes, I realize that now. I assumed that it was blindingly obvious and I did indicate I'm trans, both in the text and as my gender. Seems the freeloaders don't see any text or even info before a match so some visual aid is probably warranted, like a trans pride flag or something.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 41 minutes ago) (1 children)

They actually just changed this. I have been on Taimi for a year as an unpaid member and I could see things like gender, location, actual profiile info and such and as of last week all that info is now hidden...

But I am not even entirely sure that it only applies to unpaid members because I had a gold membership for a week and that info stopped showing up about three days before the gold membership ended and two days before I cancelled the membership.

I want to like Taimi more but god damn they are pricey just to see basic ass info about each other.

And for what it's worth, yes, you absolutely are a woman, and would be even if you didn't "pass." I am glad however that it helped boost your self confidence.

Finally... If you're entirely straight and on Taimi what the fuck are you even doin (not you-you, but the guy who had the audacity to say something as stupid as "you're not a woman")? I'm only "straight" in the sense that I am attracted to women and transwomen are women so you get the idea.

[–] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 45 minutes ago (1 children)

If that change is permanent, I'm leaving. Platinum is way too expensive and gold just became completely worthless.

They're going to lose a lot of customers on this.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 40 minutes ago* (last edited 39 minutes ago)

Do you have any suggestions for a Taimi replacement? I tried Hinge but nobody is on it in my area except "non-political" Christians and it makes me want to die. On the plus side unlike Taimi, Hinge actually has a "gynesexual" option for sexual preferences.

[–] decipher_jeanne@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (2 children)
[–] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

No, I'm just camera shy. We look very much nothing like each other though.

[–] FloMo@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (2 children)

I mean this as a sincere compliment when I say I thought I was scrolling past a photo of Marilyn for a moment - or someone doing a fabulous impersonation.

Either way you look amazing and like you’re living your best life - absolutely love that for you!

[–] tja@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 hours ago

That is a photo of Marilyn. Op said she did not want to upload a photo of herself

[–] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 hours ago

That is Marilyn. I just got so damn euphoric about some hick dude failing to clock me that I had to make my first post here and didn't think too hard about what pic I used.

[–] HuntressHimbo@lemmy.zip 19 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Passing culture might not be the best, but take your gender euphoria where you get it. It's not worth second guessing your elation 😊 Not only did you pass, but they thought you were hot!

[–] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 4 hours ago

Yeah, I've been on cloud nine since it happened. 🏳️‍⚧️

Didn't even think to thank him for possibly the biggest compliment I've ever received, and I don't mean the nice smile one.

[–] bownage@beehaw.org 5 points 4 hours ago

We take the euphoria with the bad 💕

[–] its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 hours ago

Phobes gonna phone.