this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 50 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

The only winning answer is to reach out to all normal people and sort-of-normal people, and to collectively block these idiots and their bots.

Block, report, don't interact, move on (possibly to a better social medium).

Click on content that's boring/calming, upvote it, interact.

Social media algorithms thrive on interaction. When the crazy stuff gets less interaction, that will help to an extent.

And... don't forget... You're cool. Hugs, it sucks. But we will make it out together.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

In my twenties, I developed the happy women are horny women hypothesis, and my experiences have been consistent with that ever since.

Dating in my late thirties / early forties, I used the tactic of hanging out with my prospect and respecting her autonomy until she pounced on me and pulled my clothes off. It seldom took more than three dates. Usually two was enough.

Granted, we don't teach our adolescent young men anything about socializing, so they invent crazy hypotheses on their own, or get them from the manosphere and alt-right channels. We had those in the eighties and they were just as wrong-headed then.

[–] shawn1122@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I hear where you're coming from but I think it's worth noting that dating in your 30s and 40s is very different than in your teens or early 20s.

You're at a stage where talking to a woman just feels like talking to a person and you know who you are. Young men are going through wild hormonal fluctuations and are still in the process of discovering themselves which are major hurdles.

Young women are going through similar challenges at that stage.

Dating at that age is more complicated in some ways and I don't think being present and respectful of autonomy is generally enough unfortunately. People in that age group are generally more impulsive and have a tendency to judge one another more on superficial characteristics, often arbitrarily.

Respecting a woman's autonomy is objectively in the moral right and we should be teaching young men to do this. Both parties should be respectful to one another.

Not to say that dating in your 30s and 40s isn't complex, the complexities are just different.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Granted, I was a late bloomer, an incel until I went from Codependents Anonymous in my mid twenties into the local kink community, and again, into the hands of women who knew what they wanted, and I was still cute enough to be that at least to some of them.

The other factor is that I've been crazy all my life and in the psychiatric sector all my adult life (even to the point of doing peer counseling based on raw experience). But it means when there's drama, when someone has dark stabby secrets, is divergent or has a ~~split personality~~ dissociative identity or something, I don't even blink, and we're back to clothes being pulled off again.

My guess is most of us are just looking not to be rejected out of hand over something trivial, or more accurately, to be able to be ourselves without our partner screaming and running off into the night, and any time I could be the guy who didn't do that, I was usually getting laid followed by invites to come live with her. At least I was looking for [just someone with whom I could be myself mask-off]. Granted hormone addled young adults may think they want more than that, but I got over it really quickly.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

"C'mon, bro, you'll feel better if they'll feel worse! I promise, bro!"

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 12 points 6 days ago

They're going to come back to church and they'll finally date you!

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 31 points 6 days ago

Right there with you.

In their imaginary world I guess they just hand out wives to be slaves to their husbands forever.

As much as I hate being lonely, while simultaneously I hate socializing and wish someone would just show up one day, those are ME problems, not problems with women.

The incels of the Internet are riddled with problems of themselves and unable to handle it, and do the easy thing: blame the other.

[–] ShellMonkey@piefed.socdojo.com 24 points 6 days ago

Because we know that historically taking people's rights away inevitably results in them having great love and appreciation for those who took them.

But they love you lord...

No...

They fear me... and that is much better

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 6 days ago (3 children)

nah bro u need estrogen :3

[–] maya@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)

ok, now I'm just pondering what would happen if one of those "manosphere" "Influencers" sold so-called "man pills" to make you more attractive or some bullshit, and those pills had cyproterone and estrogen in them. It would be hella unethical though.

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 days ago

It would be unfathomably based, and very illegal.

waow (based based based based based)

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I like your logic but i'm not strong enough to be a woman. I'm a little too bitch-made to survive either gender norms

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You don't have to be strong. Don't let fear stop you from transitioning. Only let being satisfied with your agab do that.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

That's good advice. I think I would be satisfied with being amab if being a man in this culture wasn't so deadly toxic. But if that were the case I probably wouldn't be as afraid of being a woman either and it would be a non issue. I think I just want to exist in a place that isn't so destructive to all human life, regardless of gender

now she's a lonely alienated woman