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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 85 points 1 year ago

Can someone get Pastor Locke to show me the passage in the Bible that says that "acting stupid" is an abomination worthy of death, so says the Lord?

[-] BrandonMatrick@lemmy.world 42 points 1 year ago

Better yet, can't someone get a terroristic threat filed against him/this church for this?

Or at least notify the IRS this is a GOP promotion agency cosplaying as a religious group in order to evade taxes?

Barring either, can we at least get a few Covid-positive carriers to swing by and sing a few hymns and kiss a few babies, maybe sneeze in the offering plate a few times?

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Nope. There is no legal threat here.

"We simply ask that you not wear a facemask in our church as it goes against our faith."

Can I bring my conceal carry? Or perhaps open-carry (local laws allowing)?

"Sure! As long as you don't transgress on our congregation. We will defend ourselves if called to though."

See how that works? No threat at all. I'm good so far.

Aight. I need a 6'8" brown brethren to walk in with me wearing a tactical vest, loaded with 6x 30-round mags of 5.56 green-tip, JHP. For self-defense. Sounds like the kinda place a man like that would need such a rig, and I'm not joking. And imma stand behind him...

What's everyone shitting about? Ain't we here to be bathed in the blood of the lamb? I came here to learn about eternal peace.

And this part is real. Listen.

Hell, I'm a middle-aged white boy, atheist you might call me. Finest service I ever attended was a mix of white and black folk in the back woods of Mississippi. That church ain't even on a map. Kinda country you can really see the Milky Way, really see it. Surrounded by cotton fields in bloom. And if you ain't seen something like that, I'm truly sorry. It's a sight to see. But your cell phone won't work, have to get home to upload those pics.

Fine folks, gettin' along, truly praising their Lord, singing and waving flags. Weird to me, but whatever, they were good people, and they were happy. Huggin' and kissin' each other, before and after the service. Again, not joking or making fun. Those folks were kin, black or white, didn't matter.

If you got a mixed message from all that, you were meant to. Because the truth is all mixed up when you get down to Earth and have a close look at it.

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[-] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

It’s right after the Jesus wants me to have a private jet chapter.

[-] Unexpected_Catnip@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

In the name of our lord and saviour youre entitled to do as you please, including denying that lord and saviour at every turn. Jesus died so you just go ahead and get yours and then declare that youre forgiven. "Yours" can include killing others to be viciously petty, just be an "american christian".

Its so enticing, I just cant see how or why religion and faith is in its death throws.../s

[-] squiblet@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

I agree, but just going to be grammar pedantic and point out it's "throes".

[-] TSG_Asmodeus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Wouldn't that be "spelling pedantic"? ;)

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[-] yurgenst@lemmy.world 59 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Celebrate faith over fear but also we have guns and we will kill you.

[-] kromem@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago

He shall remain unclean as long as he has the disease; he is unclean. He shall live alone; his dwelling shall be outside the camp.

  • Leviticus 13:46

Pastor McShooty here somehow thinks that responsible disease management and reducing contagion isn't Biblical?

If so, why doesn't this part of Leviticus say "just have faith about it"? Like it's a pretty long section talking about physical inspections to try to determine between contagious and non-contiguous diseases and to separate from contagious people.

Seems unnecessary for the Pastor here though, as he just has faith.

I wonder if he's consistent such that he's similarly dismissive of other parts of Leviticus, such as chapter 18...

[-] Dkarma@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

This dude doesn't read the Bible for context he reads the Bible for the parts that give him power.

[-] AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Sadly, that probably applies to the supermajority of Christians in America.

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[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

Growing up as an evangelical, I was basically taught to ignore the old testament, because Jesus dying changed all the rules.

[-] Aleric@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Except for anything about homosexuals and women. Those parts still apply somehow.

[-] orphiebaby@lemm.ee 43 points 1 year ago

On multiple occasions God instructed people in the Bible how to make a medicine. Fuck idiots.

[-] kromem@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

And to socially distance when sick.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fuck idiots.

If we did that, then we'd just end up with more idiots.

[-] Froyn@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

Speedrun to President Camacho!

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[-] cybersandwich@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago

Comments like this should get rid of their tax exempt status I believe.

[-] Sharpiemarker@feddit.de 8 points 1 year ago

If only. I found out recently the federal law that is supposed to prevent political endorsements only applies to endorsing specific politicians and allows for churches to endorse legislation. It's bullshit.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 41 points 1 year ago

"I'm not playing Democrat games" no you're not, you're just playing Republican propaganda games you fucking Fox news rotted brain jackoff....

[-] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

And God said "Wat chu lookin at, boy"

"Show up acting stupid and find out"

Jimbob 7:11

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 year ago

Cleetus, the slack-jawed yokel…

[-] ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

Did she forget that the core of her entire religion is fear? What does the term "god-fearing" mean to her?

[-] iegod@lemm.ee 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Religious fucks: "We follow christ."

Also religious fucks: "I'll fucking shoot you in your lgbtq liberal shitstain face."

[-] JustZ@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Like bruh did I miss the day in Sunday school when they talked about how Christ hated homeless people, drug addicts, and people that need health insurance or food?

[-] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 year ago

How is this not threating langauge?

[-] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago

Tbf it's just a less explicit "fuck around and find out." I don't think it's actionable.

[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social 29 points 1 year ago

“We celebrate faith over fear…also we might shoot you.” 🤷‍♂️

[-] phar@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

...because we're scared of you and masks

[-] reagansrottencorpse@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

No one attending church needs to be reminded to show up stupid.

[-] MycoBro@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

One of my go tos (there are a handful of people in my life who go to church occasionally but are aware enough to know it’s ridiculous) is “going to church? why? Here, Sit down. I’ll lie to you for an hour. And at least this way you can smoke weed while you listen to someone’s bullshit”

[-] revoopy@programming.dev 17 points 1 year ago

I actually don't understand, is it a gun free campus?

[-] Kase@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

No, by "find out," the pastor meant "we'll shoot you"

[-] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Ah, my favorite commandment. "Thou shall commit murder if someone shows up to your backwater Church practicing basic public health etiquette."

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[-] teuast@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago

Owen Morgan has been sounding the alarm about this guy for ages. Feels a bit weird to see his name showing up outside of Owen's channel. Glad other people seem to be aware of him, though.

[-] kemsat@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

It’s every church’s motto.

[-] WorldieBoi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago
[-] Unexpected_Catnip@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

This should be a bumper sticker with a cross on one side and a bible on the other lol

[-] badbytes@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Need credentials for pastors. This one is STUPID

[-] vivadanang@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

wonder how many of their faithful they fucking murdered with this bullshit.

[-] BeautifulMind@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Wow. Don't show up unless you're happy to carry diseases from superspreader events like our services back to your elderly and vulnerable family, fuck them. Also in case you're feeling sporting, we'll throw in an up-front threat that if we decide you're acting stupid guns are fair game

Yeah no force on earth could get me to attend that sort of nonsense

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this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
952 points (97.5% liked)

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