My gay friends call me a platinum star because I never fucked a woman and I'm a cesarian section.
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
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"Gold star" means "never had sex with the opposite gender" in LGBTQ+ slang. My man here managed to dodge the pussy at birth too, elevating him to platinum rank.
oooooh. Thanks !
pulls out $600 and asks for happy ending
You're not a virgin because you're bad with women. You're a virgin because you're bad with money.
That "Goth" chick just rinsed this dude to watch her perform a dance.
yeah maybe hire an actual prostitute instead of assuming all women offering a service you don't understand are actually just whores
anon deserves his blue balls
she implied anon could've recieved that service if anon wasn't "too spiritually pure" defo a prostitute, at least as a side hustle.
(if this story was real that is, which of course it is not)
Anon is very obviously describing a prostitute who lives somewhere where it is illegal and thus advertising with innuendo. Anon was turned down by a prostitute. Also the only one calling women whores was you.
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>get psych degree
>become disillusioned with the world and my minuscule place in it
>distaste for society rising
>decide to open a little witch shop
>even offer subtle counseling
>occasionally rip chuds out of their hate holes
>never had a customer leave without personal growth
>be yesterday
>laundromat fire left me with barely any clothes
>fuckthisqueerhatingearth.png
>still have customers today
>can’t cancel without incurring penalties
>fuckthisqueerhatingcreditprocessor.fat
>smell like burnt plastic
>wearing rescued sheets from head to toe
>appointments not going too bad considering the circumstances
>then arrived the mound
>a ball of unwashed hair stretching out into a protective sphere
>sebum flows and drips from my bead draped doorframe as walks in
>understand immediately that I have to do something about this
>I’ll save this one Jonny
>but I can’t get a word out of him
>he communicates only in grunts
>he's distracted for some reason
>finally give up as the hour elapses
>grasp failure for the first time
>as he leaves, he suddenly turns, whipping salty droplets onto my face
>I convulse but keep my composure
>finally hear his voice
>think we’re finally going to talk
>he extends a wad of money toward me and begs for a handy
>the straw that broke the camel’s back
>can barely squeak out an apology as I exit the room and begin crying
>I just wanted to help👏👏👏 BRAVO 👏👏👏
Go to a rave and do some meth.
If you don't get to rail someone / get railed, contact me for further instructions.
Average CIA agent
You got invited to Langley? Fuck yeah, man. Everyone gets laid at Langley
Covers' blown, get out of there Dasus!
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Joke's on you; I have ADHD. Meth just makes me even more quiet and reserved.
If you want to come out of your shell and get laid at a rave, I recommend candy flipping. Psychedelics will turn the most reserved introvert into a social butterfly, and the MDMA is to take the edge off, so that you can just enjoy tripping in public without having to face your demons and discover the meaning of life. The combo makes sex so much better too.
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"I see you more as a brother"
"How much to see me as a step brother?"
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Why is everything so depressing here
Because the Internet was a bad idea at this point. ;)
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Fake: anon paid a woman
Gay: anon didn’t get a boner
I was 27 when i did the deed for the first time. It was very overrated. I'm almost 40 now. Ive been married, tried a few partners, it just didn't matter. But before 27 I thought I must be missing out and got sad over it. Nah man it's really nbd.
It's not a big deal, except that now you know it's not a big deal. When people are hung up about it, releasing that can be a help.
It's society putting sex on pedestal. I agree when I did the deed for the first time, I feel it is overrated. Sorry if i might slight someone here, but from my observation, it is kind of the shallower folks who put too much value on sex.
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IMO the worst thing about being a virgin is that it's forbidden to have sex, at least according to your caring parents, teachers, and social context. It's more about breaking the nonsensical rules than actually about having sex, at least that's how it was for me.
it's forbidden to have sex
Yep. I grew up in upper class britain and it's sad how here too that was somehow, without ever explicitly being said, drilled into me.
Edit: nobody ever told me that sex was bad, but that's the view I took away for some reason?
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That's why you make an agreement in advance.
it's not the sex that I crave, just a physical warmth would be great
Same. But sex would also be great
Then get a dog
Allow me to introduce you to... the London Undeground trains! The Northern line in summer rush hour is like a bunch of penguins huddling together for warmth in a hot oven.
EDIT: I think I misunderstood what you wanted but I hope you got a chuckle out of it.
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This is a really common sentiment. Humans are social apes but many cultures have severely curtailed what kind of touch is considered appropriate.
I highly recommend hanging with cats. When I was younger, I volunteered at a cat rescue. Friendly cats are almost always down to be pet and to rub their furry little faces all over you. It's hard to feel as lonely when you're hanging out with your cat buds, and the rescue cats need friends too.
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