this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2025
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Trump, 79, admitted to Fox News on Tuesday that he feels he is “at the bottom of the totem pole” regarding his odds of making it to the promised land, leading many to ponder: Why is the president suddenly so hell-bent on making it to the pearly gates?

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[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

If Satan were real, he'd make a gold-painted express lane just for him.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Please die a horrible death, like so painful you'd reach for a knife to just end it yourself. Actually I want it so painful and long lasting that you can't reach, just lie there and fade into pain.

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

He’s just fucking saying this to get in good graces with the Christian idiots to make himself look like he’s more repentant than he is. It’s all to win back hearts because of Epstein being pervasive.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

The orange diseased carcass of a human:

If you play stairway to heaven forwards, it contains a secret plan for getting to heaven for rich people.

[–] potato_wallrus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Satan: Nicky, get the pineapple ready.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm gonna go on a limb and say that if that dude gets into heaven, they've got some super low standards. I mean, 2am drunkard with full-on coke bottle glasses low.

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[–] Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 week ago

Being a rapist pedo will do that, yeah. On top of all the other shit.

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago

This is a level of self recognition beyond what I thought he was capable of. Perhaps it is terminal lucidity kicking in. I hope he is suffering.

[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 7 points 1 week ago

I'm sure he's probably trolling again. But I do enjoy the thought of him having a small glimpse of clarity about what a piece of shit he's been his whole life. Full clarity from a narcissist like that would be too much to ask. If he ever saw himself clearly for even a second, he would never stop throwing up.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The ONLY place he will never reach

Eh, Ol' Bone Spurs ain't making it to Valhalla either

[–] Nico_198X@europe.pub 5 points 1 week ago

uh, then how about you repent and do something GOOD with the PHENOMENAL POWER you've been UNJUSTLY GIVEN?!?!?!

[–] nullPointer@programming.dev 5 points 1 week ago

another news outlet falls for and prints another distraction.

[–] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. You wanna do the funniest thing ever?

But nah. He probably just got reminded that he wasn't made the new pope and is now angry that christianity hates him and wants his evangelical base to stroke his... ego.

His existence is already proof of a sinister creator or lack thereof. If there were a heaven, they would not let one of the worst human beings alive this millennium.

[–] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

This reminds me of a comedy bit where a guy gets to heaven and Hitlers there and Hitler goes “I know, I’m just as surprised as you are”

[–] QuantumTickle@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

I wish he'd seek forgiveness and make amends while he was still alive. You know... Because there is no god.

[–] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Who didn't treat the sorjourner as their own?

[–] CircaV@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

For a male at age 79 it’s easy to wake up one day - dead.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

At least the knows

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago
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