Gonna start selling 3d printed toilet wedges out my trunk that re-flatten the toilet seat.
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A door stop, commonly found in abundance in most office spaces, sounds like a great solution already
Or just bring a shitting stool to work. Label it a shitting stool. Talk to your coworkers about your new shitting stool. Tell them about the comforts of your elevated knees and how easily your stool slides out from your briefly exposed anus. Recommend shitting stools to management. Secretly sell shitting stools under the guise of girl scout cookies. Keep the best shitting stools for yourself. Give the squeakers to management. Let them understand the shame of an office fully aware of the state of their rectum. They replace the toilets to save face. People continue using your shitting stools because they enjoy feces expediently sliding out of their rectums. You’ve won
Are you going to be giving away free stool samples?
Waiting for the lawsuits from people developing nerve damage and/or thrombosis
You don't even have to wait that long. This would play hell on people with any of a myriad of conditions. They would always have to have a regular one to accommodate the disabled or face the pain of being sued for discrimination by a disabled person, and everyone would then use that normal toilet, making the whole thing a process of burning dollars to chase pennies.
This should be posted in latestagecapitalism and aboringdystopia
Just shit on the walls and the company will readjust again
Don't be an animal, just shit in the trash can in the bosses office, like a civilized person.
But seriously, this sounds like a good way to get rich. Once you "accidentally" slip off the toilet and crack your head open, then you can sue for the big bucks.
Transparent stalls with video surveillance
Jerk off and give them a show!
you gotta really question the mental wellness of someone who starts a company to produce a product that literally makes life worse for anyone that experiences it.
Go to take a shit after a few hours in a non-climate controlled warehouse so your sweaty butt cheeks just slide off the toilet and break your coccyx. Now you get worker's comp.
Sit backwards on the toilet like AC Slater and your legs will feel better than usual
If you sit on it backwards, you won't have a shelf for your comic book and chocolate milk.
I see a claas action law suit from arthritic workers
Hus has Crohn's. That's covered by the ADA for now. Anyone with an IBD should join that lawsuit.
Joke’s on them! I work from home!
Despite their reputation as 'killer' whales, orcas are known to lend a helping fin by sharing their food with humans. A recent study recorded and analyzed 34 instances of prey-sharing by orcas (Orcinus orca) across two decades of observation.
Orcas, the largest members of the dolphin family, are widespread across all the oceans and engage in a variety of complex social behaviors. They have a rich culture and communicate using unique calls.
They also live in matrilineal societies in which older females model social behaviors for the younger members, influencing what they eat, do for fun, and who they mate with – as matriarchs may do in human societies. And, of course, orcas wear salmon hats and fashion kelp-based tools for their beauty routines.
Altruistic behaviors are common among orca communities. They commonly share food with their cetacean companions and family members as a "prosocial activity and a way [to] build relationships with each other," says lead author Jared Towers, ecologist at Bay Cetology in Canada.
The fact that they "share with humans may show their interest in relating to us as well."
The study spanned two decades and recorded dozens of instances in which wild orcas shared prey with humans. As criteria for inclusion, these interactions had to have been instigated by the whales, and not a result of humans approaching orcas. The interactions were either captured on video, in photos, or described to the researchers via interviews.
Of the 34 total recorded interactions, 21 involved people on boats, 11 involved people in the water, and 2 involved people on the shore. The orcas spanned both sexes and all age groups.
As another part of the inclusion criteria, the whales had to intentionally release the food in front of humans, from about one-orca-body-length away. Sometimes, the orcas played with the food items before releasing them.
About two-thirds of the time the orcas approached alone, but occasionally they approached in pairs and less often in groups. In half of the 34 interactions, the orcas offered an entire food item, such as a whole seal. In all but one of the cases the whales waited, for a median time of five seconds, to see what would happen after making their offering.
Ostensibly to the orcas' chagrin – but absolutely advised for ethics and cross-species safety – the humans ignored the offerings in 30 of the 34 recorded interactions. Still, some of the orcas made additional attempts to offer the food item. One can't blame an orca for trying.
Images from four instances when orcas offer food to humans Video stills of orcas sharing food items with humans. (Steve Hathaway/Lucía Corral/Jared R. Towers/Brian Skerry) It's possible that this interspecies prey-sharing is even more common than the study suggests, because this research only included examples based on strict criteria. Furthermore, these interactions may become increasingly common as human and orca activities begin to overlap more frequently.
Similar sharing behaviors have been previously observed in domesticated animals, like cats and dogs who sometimes split their food with their furless, bipedal friends. But this study is a rare groundbreaker that investigates sharing attempts from non-domesticated animals. As the researchers explain, "accounts of any wild animals attempting to provision humans are extremely rare."
Why are orcas so seemingly eager to share with humans? Perhaps to explore, play, and develop relationships with a curious brand of beings. Given the "advanced cognitive abilities and social, cooperative nature of this species," maybe orcas are attempting to forge cross-boundary relations. After all, stories of dolphins saving humans stretch back into antiquity.
Plus, orcas commonly hunt large prey, with diminishing returns when they end up with more food than they can consume, transport, or preserve.
And there's no clear risk of competition: orcas and humans are both apex predators but in "drastically different biomes." Accordingly, there are very few examples of wild terrestrial predators sharing surplus food with humans.
The researchers conclude that generalized altruism and reciprocity are cultural by-products of prosocial species. These behaviors are also social cornerstones associated with high levels of encephalization, or larger-than-expected brain size in relation to body size. In fact, orcas are second only to humans in this respect, say the study authors.
Therefore, these food-sharing interactions are a novel example that highlights an evolutionary and intellectual convergence, between the highest branches of the primate and cetacean trees of life.
This study was published in the Journal of Comparative Psychology.
...the fuck?
Edit:nvm, username joke
I think I first saw this a decade ago.
Edit: And in that decade, not even a single post about those toilets being installed anywhere. Not one peep.
Oops, I'm 230 pounds, I guess I sat down on this strange toilet too hard
Seriously, this has to be some clever business move to sell more toilets when the employees invariably take a sledge hammer to them.
I have a medical condition that makes it difficult for me to defecate, so doing so often takes 20m or more.
I usually doo on my own time (because, like, ethic or whatever), but even so, this seems actively hostile to me and I wonder if there's a legal remedy.
Take enough toilet paper off the roll to wipe, use the rest of the roll to prop up the seat.
I'll just stand then
Next up, companies will force ~~employees~~ COLLABORATORS wear diapers during their shifts, no more bathroom breaks to anyone
what if I need to shit
That's what the three hours between your day job and night job are for bud.
The pants may pose a challenge and require some preplanning, but 15° is probably perfect to make sitting cross legged pretty comfortable. Bonus benefit, they can't identify you by your feet.
That’s fine, I’ll just wear my extra thick platform shoes.
Upper decker coming right up.
Good thing they're in private places so the asshole who ordered it won't know who broke it on day one.