Ask Lemmy

A job that feels reasonable meaningful was probably the biggest game changer for me

You keep going at it. You try to make yourself a better person, bit by bit, and forgive yourself for your mistakes. You work to understand your own neurosis and patterns of emotion and find ways to work on them. I still feel dysfunctional sometimes, but it's a pattern that I've learned not to fall into fully.

Hmm. I think you mean 'go from feeling like a teen/kid into feeling like a normal adult'? When I was in my first job out of uni, I was the youngest on my team, and definitely felt it. I slowly progressed over a few years into being one of the ones to do the documentation and training, and felt pretty ok.

When that healthcare company was taken over by a for-profit shitshow and I had to jump ship, I applied for a lot of junior roles at various places. I got several calls, but the company that hired me was the one that offered me the senior position/lead instead. That made me realize "Oh, I guess I do know what I'm doing".

When I was heading up that group, I got a lot of management offers and when I finally departed to do consulting, it was because I had an appreciation for my professional worth. I did eventually leave that field because I just can't handle doing defense shit anymore, and that's really where the money is, but I still do ok.

My personal sense of 'not feeling like a kid' was probably when I started volunteering in my community, and doing a lot more to help the folks who needed it. When you develop strong friendships in the community that persist through things like illness and major life events, you have progressed beyond the whole 'drinking buddy' stage of friends.

Found someone I love to spend my life with and give me something to strive for.

masculine is specific, do you mean as earning a muscular body, some people only feel good if they have attractive body.

Mainly self-delusion 😌

Just don't die and get old

Started taking my meds

On the fulfilling community aspect, I found that at my Unitarian Universalist (UU) church. UU's don't believe in a shared religious text, instead they have a core set of shared values. My church has people who identify as atheist, Christian, several types of pagan, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, etc. We celebrate religious holidays from all of them as well as secular holidays like Trans Day of Visibility and Earth day. The focus is on being together and trying to make the world a better place. I also really like the music program. There's a handy website to find a congregation near you, many stream services on Zoom so you can test them out before going in person.

I'll let you know as soon as I do.

By having a massive schlong

Spending copious amounts of time thinking while out hunting or fishing.

Antidepressants

Paying off debt and getting a stack of cash.

Being able to take care of people.

In that order.

But then you still realize how the entire thing is a house of cards. And you are still a peasant, with a few extra lives.

But that's about as good as it gets for the working people.

The only real solution is quit being poor and that's pretty much unreachable for like 80% of population.