memes

5 - 8 - 4 - 2 - 1 - 3 - 7 - 6

I'm really not a big white potato fan but sweet potatoes and onions are delicious

1. Waffle fries (always crispy and delicious)
2. Curly fries (same)
3. Tater tots (surprisingly good)
4. Wedges, if properly spiced
5. Good onion rings
6. Shoestring, if not limp
7. Bad onion rings
8. Bad wedges
9. Crinkle cut (zigzag) (usually unflavored and soggy from a bag, but can be better than soggy shoestrings)
10. Bad shoestrings
11. Sweet potato fries (always soggy and I don't like sweet potato very much)

Yes. To all of them.

I'm not too fussy about my deep fried treats. They're all no. 1 in my book. Except sweet potato, they can fuck off. They taste fine, but why are they always soggy?

Why not #9?

1. Tater tots are basically an entire potential meal of their own. Not a French fry, but I may actually prefer them as a possible main dish.

2. The best French fries. They are the perfect side.

3. If you want to fancy it up a bit. Suitable for formal occasions.

4. Taking the one-dimensional line of the French fry and extrapolating it out to two dimensions. Still a good ketchup conveyance, but starting to get into the issue I'm going to bring up with...

5, 6, 7. Not a good enough ratio of crispy outer fried surface to gooey potato inner. I prefer crisp, but when I bite one of these, I have a good chance of just getting a mouthful of scalding hot potato napalm, or what's worse, cold potato cement. Not ideal.

'8. Yeccch.

list is missing Fried Tofu

since we're apparently just including any random fuckin food you can fry

5 8 7 2 4 1 6 3

Most of these are good, just for different things. I want waffle fries at the bar; I want shoestring fries at the burger place; I want wedges at the cafe on the corner.

Except the zigzags. I don't think I've ever had a good zigzag.

8, 2 4, 3, 1, 6, 7, 5

Assuming they onion rings are beer batter and the curly fries are from Arby's.

2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.

8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.

7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.

3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.

4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.

5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.

6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.

I'm gonna have to lock in Onion Rings as my final answer.

My vote is on number 10: Röstis

Where are the cheese curds? Fucking profligates is deep fried cheese too good for ya?

1, 7, 6, 4, 8, 3, 2, 5

• Wedges
• Curly
• Zigzag
• Shoestring
• Waffle
• Tots
• Sweet Potato (not a potato but closer than an onion)
• Onion Rings (not a potato, would be 3 otherwise)

What the heck kind of list is this?

Where are the steak fries?

3,2,1,8,4,5,7,6 for quick first gut reaction

When cooked well enough, I'd say 1 2 4 5 8 3 6 7.

Ain't no way I'd ever put wedges higher or shoelace lower. Those are always gonna be constant.

27318645

Doesn't matter, is potato. And onion rings. All are awesome.

Zig zag/crinkle cut goes to the back and I think waffle deserves the #1 spot personally. I agree with the rest of the ordering otherwise.

• Shoestrings
• Tots
• Wedges (but not the ones in this picture)
• Onion Rings (they'd be higher on the list but they're not potatoes)
• Waffle
• Curly
• Zigzag (why do they always suck so much? In theory they should be great. Also why are they always sold at public swimming pools?)
• Sweet potato

Anything in the list gets to move up +1 when chicken salt is added if the other contenders don't, except sweet potato or onion rings.