this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 175 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Delete and re-download the entire game, but use a 56k modem."

"My God house, the game launched fine! But how did the 56k modem have any effect?"

"It didn't, the reinstall would have worked either way, I just wanted to waste your time as punishment for being stupid."

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's an irq conflict and the lan cable isn't terminated.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't know, it's Ians' cable, why not ask him?

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[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 142 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

What about port blocking by the ISP? It could be a networking condition!

[–] Skyline969@lemmy.ca 116 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Which would be useful if telnet didn’t tell us the port is open.

[–] uuldika@lemmy.ml 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

it could be a bad RAM chip. we should start Prime95, check for ECC faults..

[–] truthfultemporarily@feddit.org 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If she could afford ECC, she would wear nicer shoes.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

Absolutely false. Everyone I know with ecc ram would sell their shoes for more if they could.

[–] jawa22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 3 weeks ago

Check the NAT!

[–] notso@feddit.org 100 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What about 12VHPWR syndrome? Spontaneous GPU power connector inflammation could explain why other games are affected es well...

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 weeks ago

Whenever my games start causing crashes I replug my 4070Ti power cable and it runs again for 3 months. Thanks NVIDIA

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 72 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Everyone: what the fuck is he doing

Dr. House: installing NixOS

[–] Custard@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Flakes caused his issue. The user needs more flakes

[–] WILSOOON@programming.dev 36 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I had the exact fucking same thing happen with metal gear rising, except it wasnt the drivers it was the wine config missing a ddl library for, wait for it: a fucking vr support library. A 3d PS3 game that doesnt support vr in any way, needs a vr library to function. Still pissed about that

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago

Strong "I'm not printing that greyscale image, you're out of yellow ink!" vibe.

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[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

A House-like TV show about troubleshooting computer issues would be absolutely fascinating to me and a dozen other people. All along you thought it must be drivers but it turns out that the exact RGB configuration used on the case fans combined with the anime waifu wallpaper caused a slight over-voltage on a RAM chip resulting in game crashes and only Hackerman was brilliant enough to see it.

[–] Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

If you want the dumbass version, you can find videos of influencers without any experiece build computers.

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[–] callyral@pawb.social 6 points 3 weeks ago

i would watch that lol

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I had a minor loading/stuttering issue in games that plagued me for months. Turns out the SATA cable was loose. I had no idea those could BE loose.

[–] Daefsdeda@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 weeks ago

I litteraly have one where the plastic around the gold connectors have come loose, still works after 5 years but once I disconnect the cable, the drive is gone

[–] eighty@aussie.zone 27 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

What's the equivalent of "it's never lupus"?

[–] reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's never DNS, until you don't check that first.

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

But it's always DNS

[–] uuldika@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 weeks ago

it's never bit flips?

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

"It's never lutris"

[–] nucleative@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

It's never solvable with

sfc /scannow

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

It's never a .NET compatibility issue

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[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I recently had a game tell my my NVIDIA driver was out of date by like a year.

Ngl I just ignored it, that's like a 500mb update and I'm just not interested in the time it takes unless something breaks.

[–] ech@lemm.ee 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Mate, how do you play any games if 500mb takes too much time?

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Because I already have them and don't need to download them again. 500mb on a mediocre day is like 2 hours.

If you mean online games, I tend not to because they often work poorly. For some strange, totally inexplicable reason that definitely has nothing to do with my terrible internet.

[–] Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

dang, sometimes i think my shit is slow, my heart goes out to you.

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[–] ogeist@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

How much do you pay? Is it DSL?

[–] Ganbat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I have about the same speeds. I'm paying $65/mo, it's 5G, and it's better than every other option around.

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[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

It needs more mouse bytes to run.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] IsoSpandy@lemm.ee 8 points 3 weeks ago

Still better paru -Syyu --noconfirm

[–] Ansis100@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago

I love this comment section

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 3 weeks ago

I hate Safe Mode.

[–] Ganbat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago

I had this same fucking situation recently in an issue on GitHub.

It wasn't the drivers.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 6 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Does anyone else get a crazy weird robotic static echoey sound on Arch (CachyOS)? It's like it starts fast then gets slower and more drawn out. It is very sporadic so I haven't been able to record it well. It's happened on a USB headset as well so I know it's not my speakers.

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[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 weeks ago

Last time it was the drivers for me was Rage. That was some bullshit...

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