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Tomorrow's headline in Variety:
Ben Shapiro rumored to be in high-pitched talks to play all seven dwarfs in ~~anti-woke version of Snow White~~ 90 minute conservative temper tantrum.
high-pitched talks
♥️
They so badly want their own version of Hollywood.
The problem is that so many of their movies are bad.
Yet they'll still do incredibly well because the movie makers can launder money through churches, tax free, to buy all available tickets to give out for free to the church congregations. This then makes the movie appear to be better and more popular than it really is.
2 consultant producers
they do similarly with book sales
You can’t criticize the movie without criticizing the message. If you criticize the message you’re not on their team. Not conforming to the team is a bannable offense.
But you can oh, so easily criticize the movie without mentioning the message. Because they are awful.
It's easy, when script writing is worse than a high school play, they're either over filtered to look cinematic or feel like they just filmed it and cut it together. I've seen better acting in b grade porn than anything I've seen in one of those movies, the sounds terrible like they've used the in camera mics on scenes.
See I criticized the movie without criticizing the message.
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(14 replies)
Is that Ben Shapiro as Snow White?
Ew. Who would want to kiss him?
His alive and very much female doctor wife with whom he shares an address of residence. Checkmate.
Hmm. The same wife he's gone on-record about having never given an orgasm to?
His wife who never gets a wet pussy?
yes, the dry one
Yes, the unfulfilled one
I just want you to know I hate myself for having to google this, and it's all your fault 😂
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I think it's funny that Ben Shapiro failed as a Hollywood nepo baby. Do you know how much of a failure you have to be to do that?
OTOH Kudos to Ben for giving Ben in a wig a job
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Sadly this probably still won’t anger the Hispanic vote.
Well, Ben, since as an almost forty year old grown man, you seem REALLY upset at a certain recent movie for being too "woke" or whatever, let's see how well your movie does as a failed screenwriter with a failed actress.
I'm not going to start throwing tantrums or burn anything, I'm just going to laugh at you in private.
Ah yes, Snow White and the Seventh Reich, a beloved children's story about how a mirror that considered an underage girl to be hot got her roofied and then taken advantage of while sleeping by the dude with the most privilege who instead ends up celebrated for rescuing her from her laborer immigrant household.
Honestly even without any alterations to the core plot this clearly has all the hallmarks of a conservative hit on their hands.
A little Triumph of the Will cinematography and some dog whistles thrown in, and they can't help but get everyone on Parler to buy a few copies each. (Literally, as the people there are suckers waiting to be parted with their bitcoins.)
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Being so wrong about the reception and mind shattering profits of the Barbie movie done gone made Benny Shaps a might bit parched for some of that movie moolah sizzurp in his real boy diet cola. I would actually watch this if it got pirated and entirely redubbed with Robert Evans doing all the characters voices as Ben.
With one exception. Robert needs to do the Magic Mirror in his Boston accent.
Crap, I wanna say yes, but you know he's gonna swing for the fences with the Boston accent and it might lessen the weight of the many Ben impressions. That might have to be the directors cut version.
No, you've gotta have Cody Johnston and Katy Stoll in there too!
So... a movie featuring a sleeping girl getting woken up for her happy ending is too woke?
It's more a backlash against the Disney 'remake'...in quotation marks because rather than remaking it, it just sounds like they just did their own thing completely.
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Lmao this is just sad.
Let them waste the money. A spite movie is pretty funny though. Straight out of Curb Your Enthusiasm
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I thought Bob Clampett already made the right's preferred version of the story.
Over under on the dwarves being her happy slaves?
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this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
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