But what about Brian
this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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!religiouscringe@midwest.social
founded 2 years ago
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Welease Bwian!
Bob is the only true Messiah and I will cruelly murder anyone who says otherwise!
Hell, Bob didn't even marry a 6 year old. That's a plus for Bobism.
Is the Bobiverse a JOKE to you???
Oh my, I haven't thought about that series in many years!
the church of subgenius worships Bob, but there is no evidence he ever existed as a man or otherwise (except the fact that he has worshippers)
"Bob" exists, he's just dead! He was assassinated on stage by a lone gunman named D. Woodman Atwell (later identified by the Hinkey Commission) in iirc 1989 (or was it 1986?).
But he started our dear church in 1953, while working on a television set of his own design he was shocked and given a vision of JHVH-1, the evil alien from some corporate sin galaxy who pretended to be all the gods of the past in order to TAKE OUR SLACK! He made a deal with the X-ists to sell them the planet, but also to Rupture up all dues paying SubGenii before the fires and damnation start on July 5th 1998 (which hasn't happened yet because the calendar you know is a lie) so you can enjoy it from the safety of the PleasureSaucers.
poes law strikes again
Poe was a pussy.
If Slack gets replaced with something less laggy, I'm in favour.
Slack is not a program/service, they stole the name in a pathetic attempt to entice SubGenii. When that failed, they set their sites on besmirching the good name of our most basic need by associating it with them. It's a tool of The Conspiracy, nothing more.
What is Slack? Well, if you have to ask, you'll probably never know. Put most simply, Slack is something for nothing.
Ironically, Slackware is SubGenius. It was created by a SubGenius in iirc '93, "Bob's" face is seen in the belly of a Tux on the Slackware official site.
Bob is also the only religious figure who guarantees to save your soul or triple your money back on proof of damnation.
Goddamn right, Praise "Bob"!
Change his name to Donald and it becomes a lot more questionable to say.
Or "the King"
Even easier.
It's already more questionable, as RFK Jr. is promoting anti-vaxxing...
I was about to make the same joke, but then I realized his followers are a cult, so religion again
If Bob is an aristocrat, a big politician or an enterpreneur, people get killed in the name of Bob.
His name was Robert Paulson
bobert
To be fair, its not Jesus or Muhammed, but the massive ministries that propped them up as icons for rallying power.
And classical history features plenty of other divine images and massacres in their name.
Humans are suckers for it, especially in hard times and mass precarity. And that's the problem we have to fix if we want to be a serious contender civilization.
People might not assign Bobs magical properties, but they do just fine in getting people killed.
Robert E Lee - Confederate general
Sir Robert Peel - 'Father' of modern policing
Robert Mugabe - Former revolutionary and president of Zimbabwe
Baron Robert Clive - helped set up East India Trading Co
Various Kings and would-be Kings Robert - found all over Europe, can't even guess how many literally died 'in the name of' these Bobs
Etc.
Those are FALSE BOBS! I follow only the one true Bob, and he's chill AF.
I would send this to people, but the "We Fucking Love Atheism" watermark would make me seem cringy as fuck, so I will not.
Hehe, yeah I had the same dilemma before posting. I found the image in an old folder from my "blunder years", but it was too good to not share anyway.
B.O.B.
B.O.B did something
Duno, BOB in Overwatch 2 has killed me several times. Bob is a menace.
Unfortunately several people have been killed by Bob's followers.
I think there's even a Netflix documentary about them.
Clearly has never read the bobiverse.
Praise "Bob"!
But use the goddamn quotes you bobbies!
Bob is actually a name of a Bai Hai Prophet I think ...
Wait until you hear what RFK Jr. is doing...