memes

I think in this case it works well enough.

Most comedy works by subverting expectations. And sometimes you can shift the burden of establishing these expectations to the audience by offering an unclear and vague statement, that later is revealed to be the punchline to the joke.

There is a certain risk involved because how well the joke works on an individual basis is a question of how imaginative or unimaginative the audience is (depending on how the joke is constructed).

A joke that relies on lack of imagination basically turns the audience into their own straight man. While the joke that relies on imagination banks on you being the straight man to the flights of fancy of your audience.

It's like putting Descartes before the whores.

It really does decrease the effect of the bit.

I was talking about a UFO

you thought it was a ufo? lmao

sry sry i feel the fuck out of that. I'm glad you found your answer- so rarely do we!

You mean Nicholas Angle?

Depends on the age. Fully grown ones can weigh a lot more than 10kg. Source

I've heard their wings can break your arm, so it might not be just as simple as that. Still probably a good first step. But if this happened when he's out swimming where he can't stand, that would be an advantage for the swan.

you don't want to fight a swan, they're like geese but upscaled. when i was taking photos of them once from a distance, i heard one make a noise like an actual dinosaur. do not fuck with swans, especially if the have their children around

You've definitely never been ambushed and attacked by a swan, those fuckers are crazy, I got in a few fights with the local swans when I was younger, you'd be surprised at how tough those little fuckers are. They're like upmarket geese.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JZXhV6s65xw

Well, I can't believe fighting a bird has come up twice in a two day span.

But, how are you going to grab its neck?

You're in the water, with a big-ass set of wings pounding at you, a beak that is pounding at you, with their raucous calls disorienting you.

You aren't going to be seeing clearly. You'll be blinking, flinching, and maybe even keeping your eyes closed so they don't get injured.

And now you want to reach out and grab that moving neck.

I'm not saying it's impossible. But it isn't exactly as easy as people seem to think.

I've been attacked by geese while fishing. And it was on land, where I should have an advantage what with being able to stand firmly. I've fought humans and dogs before and come away with only minor injuries. Big birds are harder to manage.

But, nah, you aren't just precisely grabbing the neck of a big-ish bird when it comes at you. You think you're fast, and you may be. But you aren't enraged bird fast.

Those necks are also wiggly and feathered. So getting a grip if you manage to make the initial grab isn't a guarantee.

Then what are you going to do with it? Even on land, you aren't going to be able to 100% kill the bird just because you have its neck. You aren't going to be able to just throw it either.

In the water? Your footing is less stable to begin with, so all of the above is harder.

Also, killing or injuring the bird isn't necessarily desirable. You can get into trouble doing that, depending on where it happens. Even if you won't, swans and geese don't attack humans just because. There's always a reason because fighting is dangerous. Aggression definitely has a survival benefit, but not when it's random.

So now you're the asshole that went somewhere there were birds nesting, or eating, or resting and instead of backing off when they warned you (and they usually do), and you're trying to injure or kill it when all it wants is you to go away. That's a seriously douchey thing to do.

Think about it.

Around about there yeah, they can get up about 15kg but most are smaller. There are videos of people grabbing them by the neck and putting them back in the water.

But people love to overplay geese and swans as these powerful beasts because of how aggressive and loud they are, and that they can cause bleeding and such with their beak. Some even throw around the idea that they can break your arm. Meanwhile their bones are much smaller and honeycombed. They're about the strength of a really stale breadstick.

Every year my fiance go down to the pond down the road and make friends with the Canadian geese. Everyone here seems to hate them, but they're lovely when you are kind to them. I don't know much about swans. They're definitely bigger and more robust, so I'm sure they could hurt someone real bad. But I don't actively try to engage wildlife in combat, so I feel like I'd be ok around them.