this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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labels are useless last a certain point. you're you and that's all that matters.

if you absolutely need to pick a label (for a doctor's form or whatever) bi would be what I would choose since what they're really asking there is what genders do you sleep with.

[–] Character_Locked@lemm.ee 2 points 1 hour ago

There's also 'neptunic', which sounds like what you're describing, plus attraction to androgyny.

[–] recently_Coco@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 hours ago

Sapphic, perhaps.

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 48 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I wish people didn't hyperfixate on labels so much these days. I feel like it causes more problems than it solves in terms of creating an identity someone needs to stick to instead of letting people just be themselves.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Agreed, fuck who you like and who wants to fuck you, why must something as complex and messy as your slice of humanity be categorized?

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 12 points 6 hours ago

Agreed.

The desire to subdivide ourselves appears to have been very beneficial to the ruling class in many ways.

[–] november@lemmy.vg 81 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

You're bi and you have a type.

[–] twice_hatch@midwest.social 2 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

idk I don't wanna call myself bi cause I'm not into most men I've ever met, I don't wanna mislead people

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 hours ago

The thing about labels is that their usage depends on the particular context at time of use. I have a friend who is non binary, for example, but finds herself weary of explaining how someone can be femme presenting, use she/her pronouns, and be non binary. This means that when talking to people who aren't LGBTQ, she finds "lesbian" is the most effective label to communicate, even though it's a label she has largely outgrown the truth of. For some people, how they engage with identity labels is quite straightforward, and they present the same labels out to the entire world. For other people, more nuance is needed, and that's okay too.

That is to say that if you read the above comment and thought "bi but with a type sounds like me, but I don't want to call myself bi", that's fine. Labels like "bi" can help make oneself be more legible to the world at large, but you do not owe the world that. You are allowed to have complexity that doesn't neatly fit into simple labels, and even if you did strongly identify with a label, you're not obligated to divulge this freely.

[–] JakenVeina@lemm.ee 3 points 1 hour ago

Neither are more gay men and straight women.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 hours ago

I love this answer. It's perfect.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 10 hours ago

I’d say I generally lean the same way, and I consider myself bi.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 68 points 13 hours ago

You're horny.

[–] SphereofWreckening@ttrpg.network 29 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

If you're looking for a technical term, you would fall under gynosexual. But even with the term: only you can truly define your own sexuality.

[–] twice_hatch@midwest.social 4 points 2 hours ago

Yeah gynosexual or gynephilic is how I describe myself

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 88 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Probably bisexual, but you've got a type.

[–] pleasegoaway@lemm.ee 32 points 11 hours ago

Yeah. Let’s not overcomplicate it. They’re bi with a preference for femininity.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 5 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Depending on your gender you're heteroflexible or homoflexible

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 3 points 3 hours ago

which are 2 types of bi

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 27 points 13 hours ago

Sounds like bi with a femme preference

[–] Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 27 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

I think trying to define it is fairly pointless. We love what we love and we lust what we lust. Rather than defining it, I wish we could all just accept that and stop hating people for having different preferences.

[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

Yep. We don't give names for people who like red and their second favourite colour is yellow.

Just be yourself, be kind to others and move on.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 16 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Yep, but sometimes you want to communicate about your preferences, and then you need understandable terminology. Giving names to phenomena is generally useful. Discussing things is useful. Understanding natural diversity is great and important.

[–] Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 11 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Fair point but I'm not sure that naming every permutation is possible. We might be better off trying to make do with charts or something.

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[–] IndieSpren@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 14 hours ago (2 children)
[–] nagaram@startrek.website 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

That feels cursed as a fandom dot com wiki

[–] IndieSpren@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 7 hours ago

Yeah, lgbt being a fandom sounds super phobic. Just looked up gynesexual on a search engine and copied the first link that had a definition.

[–] bishbosh@lemm.ee 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

This was the term I've heard, but damn does it sound terfy...

[–] cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

probably because it sounds close to gynophilia

[–] 11111one11111@lemmy.world 18 points 14 hours ago

Fucked if I know the new terms but for my entire 20+ years of sexually active life, you would be classified as bi. But like I said or implied, Im old as fuck and have no clue what the currently accepted term may be. If I need to know the new sexuality/gender terms then im fucking a woman who is way too young than I should be fucking with. Thats a statement of the types of people who live in my area and not a blanket statement that no older individuals use current sexuality identities.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

From Fetlife's Kinktionary:

Finsexual: Usually refers to a person who is attracted to femininity regardless of a person’s gender identity. Is sometimes considered more inclusive than Gynesexual (as the prefix "gyne" focuses on female anatomy).

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 13 points 14 hours ago (9 children)
[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Are you implying that something else would be abnormal?

[–] dumblederp@aussie.zone 7 points 10 hours ago

They probably mean it more in the sense of common, regular, standard or majority. If I say I'm a normal bloke happy with my gender, I'm not trying to shit on trans people, I'm just talking about myself.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Then use a different word

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[–] fabsecretpowers@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 11 hours ago

I'm assuming you're male? If so, this sounds like an exact description of my sexuality. If someone really wants specifics, I usually just say "I like femmes/femininity" or "I'm not into mascs." But 99% of the time I just say I'm straight. Seems accurate enough to me

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 9 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (6 children)

Labels exist to describe what is. You don't need to fit neatly into a category. You like who you like, and you shouldn't apologize for it.

Like for me, I'm attracted to the late Andre Braugher portraying the gay man Captain Holt on Brooklyn 99 when he's pretending to be straight and describing his fictitious partner's heavy breasts. Nothing sexier than that, but the brain trust at Oxford hasn't come up with a word for that one yet.

[–] 11111one11111@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Oh fuck you! I was not prepared to learn one of my favorite sitcom characters is dead. Fuck me, now I gotta Google how he passed.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

My condolences. He died too soon.

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[–] sheepishly@fedia.io 5 points 12 hours ago

Bi but with a type?

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