The Onion

6420 readers

534 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

467

Mitch McConnell Settling Into Retirement by Destroying All the Houses Jimmy Carter Built (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

all 9 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

At press time, McConnell planned to expound on his malevolent personal endeavors in the forthcoming memoir, “Human Impediment: Tales of a Worthless Life, Soon Forgotten.”

Absolutely savage. Hopefully it's also topical

[–] TimLovesTech@badatbeing.social 11 points 3 months ago

Sounds like what his epitaph should read, and have it used as a public urinal.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In 2045 at the age of 103, Mitch McConnell somehow returns

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago

As president

[–] RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 months ago

He would. The old bastard.

[–] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My friend, Hank Hill will be flipping out. He built a home for Niefko and Alla Lubecki, with a highly virile friend of his, Dale Dribble.

[–] ksigley@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

Goddamn, that one got me.

Great work, @theonion.