this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2025
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Freeze Peach Patriots

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poor gut motility and entertainment

the poo in my colon is getting quite large recently even getting some press coverage and there are unfortunately few posts promoting home remedies or distracting entertainment/drama

what happens then is that i eat out of boredom while i could be enjoying some drama so here are some stats

category internet drama exposure bowel movement frequency stool consistency overall gut happiness
high 5+ hours daily 2-3 times daily soft & regular mildly irritated
moderate 2-4 hours daily daily formed & consistent content
low less than 1 hour daily every other day firm slightly bloated
none 0 hours daily 2-3 times weekly hard & inconsistent extremely bloated
top 9 comments
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[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Fibre intake has been steadily decreasing over the past half century and it's so that the government can slow us down. Lack of fibre makes people fluid and mercurial and willing to accept change. It's all part of their plan. You can't run as fast if you're leaking from your butt. I bought some fibre supplements online and now I am tough and firm and my gut is ready for anything they throw at me.

[–] Flatworm7591@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

You can’t run as fast if you’re leaking from your butt.

Fact.

[–] ChadMcTruth@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

@blakenong@lemmings.world
@svc@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz
@catloaf@lemm.ee
@telorand@reddthat.com
@draconic_neo@lemmy.dbzer0.com

please apologize to me i cant poop

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 5 points 1 week ago

No, you apologize to me. I can't find my favorite snacks, and all evidence points to it being your fault.

[–] blakenong@lemmings.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ChadMcTruth@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

1000009244

you told me "YDI" and that dramatized me

[–] blakenong@lemmings.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Flatworm7591@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Gotta say, I'm a fan of your pithy replies.

[–] blakenong@lemmings.world 2 points 1 week ago

My mom always said I was sharp as a hammer.