There's probably not any one single thing that I would do but interestingly enough I was charged once with a misdemeanor for providing food to the homeless and arrested, finger printed, and then released. At the hearing, the arresting officer failed to show and the judge, being a rather empathetic and progressive individual had the following to say to me:

Since the arresting officer has seen fit not to respect this court's time, I am formally dropping the charges. I will go off of the record for one moment: Young man, some laws were intended to be broken. I applaud you for choosing wisely. Back on the record: I will order the record of arrest expunged because I see no benefit to society in having a record of this young man's arrest for performing what is essentially good civil service. And so ordered

I am reminded that there are good people in this world.

Nice try, FBI.

Eat a billionaire or two

Join last generation and sabotage some kind of fossil fuel thing.

Edit: Also hi feds :)

It would probably be beating an animal abuser to death.

Probably for being horny on main

Something piracy related... I'm an avid movie/tv pirate and get family members onto IPTV and my Plex server. I stick to my limits of family members only though and don't make any money from it

I'd go full fight Club and wipe everyone's debt

The RIAA finally catches up to me.

Wrongfully accused and convicted after being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Such as being found in the murder victim's apartment, mere moments after their murder.

"I swear! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!"

Seditious thoughts. Unless Op means in breach of current laws.

Murder

Probably a random obscure law l accidentally violate at some point like picking up an eagle feather or something.

Premarital sex in the state of Utah prior to 2018.

Removing the tag from the couch.

Eat the rich (am vegetarian)

Beating up someone because they decided the middle of the aisle of my local supermarket was a great place to park their trolley to talk to some other bastard about bullshit nobody cares about while I’m trying to get my shopping over with as fast as possible.

Good thing I get most of my groceries delivered theses days.

Homicide