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The Spelling Bee (lemmy.world)
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[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 11 points 15 hours ago
[-] serenissi@lemmy.world 9 points 13 hours ago

It's not a god per se, rather the animal companion of Ganesh (Elephant god/ god of people, kinda like god Fufluns of Populonia). The mouse is like a ride of the god.

[-] xenoclast@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

When they're both Christians, Jesus just picks his favorite. If you lose you know that you're not jesus's favorite. Sorry that's just the way it is. Loser.

[-] sxan@midwest.social 31 points 1 day ago

Now I want to read a book that starts with the sentance:

"The war in heaven started with a spelling bee."

[-] Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago
[-] sxan@midwest.social 6 points 22 hours ago

Could you use that in a sentance?

[-] zaubentrucker@sopuli.xyz 5 points 16 hours ago

They just did

[-] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de -3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

ChatGPT spat this out.

It all began with two children on Earth, both eyes squeezed shut, hands folded tightly in prayer. One was Lucy, a ten-year-old with a sharp tongue and an encyclopedic knowledge of words. The other was Max, a quiet but determined boy who practiced his spelling with such focus that every letter felt like a victory.

Each child prayed the same thing: Please, God, let me win the spelling bee.

And God heard. But not just God—Archangels Gabriel and Michael did, too.

“Lucy’s the one,” Gabriel said, convinced. “She’s got skill, and she practices every day. Max’s heart is good, but Lucy deserves the win.”

Michael shook his head, wings bristling. “Max has worked twice as hard. He might not have Lucy’s natural talent, but his devotion should be rewarded.”

God sighed. “Then perhaps both should win,” He suggested gently.

Gabriel and Michael looked horrified.

“There can only be one winner,” Gabriel insisted. “Lucy!”

“Max!” countered Michael.

The disagreement escalated, and soon the pearly gates rang with the clash of heaven’s most loyal warriors. Thunder crackled, stars tilted in their orbits, and halos slipped crookedly from heads. An entire chorus of angels divided into factions: Team Lucy versus Team Max.

As the battle waged on, God watched from His throne, bemused, until He decided enough was enough.

He raised one hand, and instantly the clouds of battle cleared, silence swept across the heavens, and every angel dropped their weapon, ashamed.

“Whoever wins,” God said, “will do so by their own merit. Do not wage war over spelling bees.”

And so, peace returned to Heaven, and on Earth, Lucy and Max faced off at the spelling bee.

In the end, neither won. They both missed a letter and went home with heads high but humbled. And in Heaven, a truce was called—but Gabriel and Michael couldn’t help but exchange a final glance.

“Next time,” Michael whispered, “I’m praying to win.”

Edit: If you downvote this, tell me why.

[-] Amir@lemmy.ml 3 points 13 hours ago

ChatGPT spat this out.

No one asked

[-] madjo@feddit.nl 10 points 21 hours ago

My money is on the elephant!

[-] TheBraveSirRobbin@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago

I dunno, that balls kick was a hell of a headstart and could change the outcome

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago

Sorry to all Christians but every Hindu deity wrecks Jesus 1v1. That's just facts.

[-] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 14 hours ago

But Jesus never fights alone 😏 he's a dirty ass cheater.

[-] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

IDK, the christians build gods like a grade schooler:

My god built the ocean.

Oh yeah well mine built the earth, and the ocean is on the earth.

Hey you can’t do that, besides I have a second god and he made the sun.

I don’t need two gods mine is as powerful as all yours put together and he made the heavens and it has the sun in it.

THAT’S CHEATING! And I have another god, he made the stars!

Oh yeah well mine made everything including all the gods and he can count to infinity!

Oh yeah even the evil gods?

…..yeah but thats not his fault.

Is too!

Is not!

Is too!

Is not!

Is too!, Is too!, Is too!

Is not time infinitely!

[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

For his human form, yes, but Holy Trinity-wise, I'm not so sure. Beyond 1v1, archangels tip any scales in JC's favor.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago

Are you also including the entire Hindu pantheon? Because I don't think the trinity has a chance in hell, archangels notwithstanding.

[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago

The Holy Trinity includes God who is supposedly all powerful. I think He can hold His own 1v1. I'm not saying He would thrash every Hindu god, but it's not a trouncing of God situation, either. Regardless, when you start adding in the entire kingdom of Heaven, even against the entire pantheon of Hindu gods, I think Heaven wins out.

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[-] tourist@lemmy.world 77 points 1 day ago

why jesus cakes hanging out

Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe

[-] Buffalox@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm

Judges 1:19

The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.

So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.

[-] tourist@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

I never actually read much of the thing

I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don't care that it's not native to the region or whatever.

Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

[-] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 13 hours ago

Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

For the same reason as now - because Israel wanted their land.

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[-] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.

The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.

Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.

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[-] lowleveldata@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

No pants for serious mode

[-] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Since 2008 Ganesha only lost two times. I guess Jesus is past his prime. And the first loss wasn’t really a loss, since it was 8 first place winners with 7 kids of South Asian descent.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scripps_National_Spelling_Bee_champions

[-] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 13 points 1 day ago

I mean look at him! Jesus doesn't seem like he has much of a shot against that beast of a deity.

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 day ago

I adore this comic for some reason

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Interesting tidbit, the National spelling bee was created by Doug Cornette. The Father of loud mouth, racket waving, heel wrestling manager Jim Cornette

Which explains why he was such a word Smith and could talk a mile a minute while insulting the crowd

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago

He looks like a thinner version of lives-in-a-van-down-by-the-river guy.

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Just as loud

[-] ThePantser@lemmy.world 36 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Also relevant, two people of the same religion praying for the same thing. The god fights themselves. Or flips a coin, free will remember.

[-] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago

Jim Carrey comes to mind in Bruce Almighty, when he starts to say yes to every prayer and thousands win the lottery.

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[-] ekZepp@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago
[-] taiyang@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This just made me think about Shin Megami Tensei. I think Messiah (the closest equivalent to Jesus) would probably win 1 on 1, but the whole Hindu pantheon would probably wear him down eventuality.

Edit for non-smt fans: SMT is Pokemon for religious and folk mythology. Lol

[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 day ago

I'd buy that Street Fighter DLC pack.

[-] Gingerlegs@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago
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this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
916 points (97.9% liked)

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