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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by UlyssesT@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net

Voyaging where? epsteingelion

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[-] TomBombadil@hexbear.net 42 points 4 days ago

It would be really neat if Elon Musk was a target in the game Hitman: World of Assassination. Then agent 47 could find a way to lock one of these guards in a closet and get close to Voyager in order to... Idk push that giant X sign that was on the Twitter offices onto his head. It would be neat if that happened in the game Hitman: World of Assassination.

[-] VILenin@hexbear.net 45 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

He is so incredibly desperate for admiration and worship, and sadly it’s not hard to find people who are incredibly eager to give it to him.

[-] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Sometimes I want to legit interview Musk and ask.....what the hell?

FWIW in the mid 2010s he had a great brand: He was making environmentalism cool, getting people into science and technology, and making a case for an ethical capitalism. I really liked him back then when I was a lib because I thought the Tesla EVs were cool and also he once did this really cool thing: allow anyone to use the tesla patents if it meant speeding up green technology, he even peddled the whole going to mars thing as a last ditch effort in case our efforts on earth fail.

If he just kept this up, he would have been hailed as a hero and people like us would be mocked for daring to criticize him from the left, especially if he used that 44 billion to just end homelessness in America and not 44 billion just to own the libs (which would have costed around 20 billion).

Elon could have played into him being the quintessential American figure, an immigrant that had something to contribute and left the country better than he found it. Sure, no one cares that he's a nepo baby that inherited a fortune from his parents, but you know damn well people would care even less if he just kept up the brand.

Even his gripes about trans people and how it "took away his kid". Elon Musk could always just.....talk to his daughter and try to understand her. Even now it would look noble if Elon Musk publically apologized to Vivian despite being in a position of strength and said he was in the wrong to mistreat her, like even my few remaining conservative values are pissed at Elon for literally choosing the internet's approval over his own family. I know that a lot of his LGBTphobia is essentially redpilled virtue signalling (vile signalling?) because Tesla has a DEI report in 2020, saying it's a good thing, and and even two years ago Tesla scored with perfect equality for LGBT workers. So to me, this development was done out of not just malice, but also convenience.

I'm convinced Elon Musk is a legit chud, but what surprises me is that he's fully crossed over to the GOP when the democrats would have suited him well. Trying to be bigger chuds than even they actually are thinking it will "win over the normals", and win or lose taking that deep breath in the mirror and saying "we gotta get more racist".

That's what makes it extra personal between Elon Musk and other billionaires, Elon had so many things going for him, and threw it all away because he'd rather look cool like he's some perpetual high schooler. So now we get to see what it's like when an edgy 12 year old is drunk with real power.

EDIT: Some grammatical/rhetorical changes.

[-] footfaults@hexbear.net 2 points 4 days ago

Tech Won't Save Us has a good miniseries about Musk but honestly he's always been this way. It's just he's more visible now because he ruined a property (twitter) that a lot of journalists cared about so now they're paying more attention to him

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 32 points 4 days ago

Musk should make like the Voyager and leave the Solar System

[-] miz@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

we are still communicating with voyager. I do not want to hear from Musk again.

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

How about we crash him into an asteroid and do spectral analysis on the debris

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago

"I'm getting a good signal of pink mist"

[-] PKMKII@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago

I assumed they meant in the context of Star Trek Voyager

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 31 points 4 days ago

We def shouldn't advocate for violence. But if someone did an adventurism on him, that person would be a hero to most of the world. Not that anyone should do that, tho.

[-] UltraGreen@hexbear.net 23 points 4 days ago

I've always said, if I'm terminally ill, or all of my friends and pets die in some accident, I would possibly, maybe think about doing a little final vigilantism.

If I'm going back to the earth, I might as well do something to heal her before I go. Like removing one of the biggest tumors on the planet.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

same, may as well grab some company for the trip to hell

[-] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 4 days ago

In Minecraft

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 34 points 4 days ago

Please, please, please let his ass get catapulted into the Delta quadrant. It doesn't even have to be the far side of the galaxy; I'd settle for him getting ingested into the engine intake of a Delta Airlines Boeing 777.

[-] 12022081631@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago

elon is getting sick eating neelix's cooking for the 160th episode in a row and now he's dead

[-] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

Oh! We also need a episode where Seven and the Doctor tries to implant a Neuralink into his brain.

Doctor: "Extraordinary."

Seven: "Indeed. There's no brain patter, but the subject is still alive."

Elon: "Guys, I'm right here."

Doctor: "And if i slowly turn... up... the... interface."

Elon shits himself as his corps starts flapping around having a seizure on the med-bed

*Seven looks apathetically at him as she's hitting the display: "I've erected a level 10 force field."

Doctor: "Simply... Extraordinary."

[-] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

Janeway: "If he want to live on this ship we can't have him walking around the hallways, it's bad for crew morale. If he wants to get places he need to crawl through the Jefferies tubes from now."

Chakotay: "Captain, isn't that little harsh? He'll spend all day crawling around in there just to get to the mess hall, just to get to..."

Janeway, "Oh and Chakotay, from now on they're called the "hyper tubes", make sure the rest of the crew knows."

Chakotay: "Kath..."

Janeway: "Dismissed."

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

They were in a transporter accident together, creating a new form of life called Elix. Janeway beamed its ass into space without a second thought, and everybody was happier for it.

[-] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago

B'Elanna: "You'll be launched down this tube in this retrofitted photon torpedo at warp 5 through a perfect vacuum. It will cut years off your journey."

Paris: "You'll be fiiiiiinee, Elix! We ran simulations on the holo-deck. I even made the modifications myselfe."

[-] Goblinmancer@hexbear.net 25 points 4 days ago

Musk pls enter a submarine

[-] bigbrowncommie69@hexbear.net 22 points 4 days ago

These guys gonna make bank off their memoirs.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

I'd read one of those.

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 20 points 4 days ago

I guess he's worried about the saudis coming to collect on their debts

[-] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 21 points 4 days ago

Would be funny if Elon ended up shopped up into bits

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 20 points 4 days ago

I would convert to islam out of respect

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago

so-true I got a code name just like the president!

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 24 points 4 days ago

Would love to see them all get lit up coming into Venezuela and Maduro personally just beating the shit out of Musk streamed live.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago

After Maduro called his bluff billionaire-tears been pretty quiet about that.

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 15 points 4 days ago

Voyager? more like Boy Rage Turd.

boom. gottem.

[-] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 23 points 4 days ago

Their code-name for him is not Voyager, at least when he's not around.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago

I know he demands a security presence when he's on the crapper, so he should be Voidager. kelly

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 20 points 4 days ago

What a coward.

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

starting to get a bit of a wattle, isn't he

[-] Maaj@hexbear.net 17 points 4 days ago

Ngl, I was wondering what type of security he moved around with .

[-] TheBroodian@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago

Hopefully taking a one-way voyage 10 leagues under the sea

[-] lemmyseizethemeans@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 4 days ago

It must be sa insane to constantly be living in fear which is a direct outcome of ostentatious wealth

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago

I would 100% do this if I was a billionaire. I would also make my bodyguards wear cool gaudy Landsknecht armor and carry elaborated engraved and enameled machineguns and halberds. I would order them to learn to break just so I could go to rome and stunt on the swiss guard.

[-] miz@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

are the swiss guard known for breakdancing

[-] anarcho_blinkenist@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago

Resting Innsmouth Face

[-] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

How about a voyage home: A documentary of Elon, stuck on the other side of the continent trying to get home in a cyber-truck that's falling apart. As he's navigating through south America with limited fuel and money only his charm and wits can save him. What alliances would he make? Will he make it home?

Elon: "We're running low on fule."

Javier: "We have all those calculators I confiscated from all the school children. Maybe we can convert them to some fuel source?!"

Elon: "We could hook them up in series and drag them behind the car to get some extra power to the batteries."

[-] nothx@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago

Isn’t this a top gear episode?

[-] Grownbravy@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

so it's just junk spinning around in space soon with no more use to everyone?

[-] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 4 days ago

I rarely downvote, but the actual Voyager probes are an inspirational story of real scientific triumph. I will not hear them smeared!

Somehow, the first thing we sent out of the solar system intentionally wasn't a conquering fleet, a self-aggrandizing tyrant/cult leader/gazillionaire, or a swarm of mining bots thirsty for lanthanides, but rather a sincere artifact of curiousity. We've kept it running long past its intended service life, and indeed the best-before date of many of its designers. It's a "Humanity, Fuck Yeah" story that's heartwarming instead of jingoistic.

My budget platform is "ask how much NASA wants each year, and put a zero behind it."

[-] Grownbravy@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago

good point, Voyagers power systems are supposed to have at least another year which is more than most will say about musk

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

now now, thats still a million times more useful than elon

this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2024
137 points (99.3% liked)

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