askchapo

As someone that had the unique experience of gaining over 7.5cm or 3 inches in height after becoming an adult thanks to a surgery that "fixed" a spinal deformity, I have to say that I got treated noticeably better by strangers after getting taller, women and men. It's like I automatically got treated with more respect. And it was an immediate thing too, while I was still recovering from surgery, underweight and walking like I had a board stapled to my back. Once I recovered further and gained weight and mobility, I got treated even better. And it wasn't as if I was short before either, I went from around 177cm/178cm to 185cm barefoot, or 5'10 to 6'1 in imperial measurements.

So yes, at least in my experience, society is as shallow as you think, in fact it ended up being more shallow than I ever thought. Which is why I've found the whole thing surprising. I never expected to just get treated better because I got taller, that was never one of my issues or concerns. I wasn't completely naive, I knew that I would get treated better by society if I didn't have a visible spinal deformity thanks to all the bullying and unwanted comments I recieved on it, but I never expected height to play such a large role. It really changed my view on this, I always thought shorter people were exaggerating about stuff like this. Though the worst I've ever been treated in public is when I had to use mobility aids and my spinal deformity was visible no matter how baggy my clothes were. I got so many stares that could give you nightmares.

As for dating, I've always struggled with that, I'm bisexual and don't really gel well with the heterosexual dating dynamic, traditional gender roles, etc. I never really dated that much before the surgery. I got a lot of unwanted comments about my posture from girls and women though. I do find that I get more attention now, but height is only a part of that. Not having a visible spinal deformity and being a healthy weight also plays a big role. But yes, height does play a part, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't. But for me the big difference hasn't been in dating or attraction, but how people treat you in general.

Overall people are shallow, it's not great but it is what it is and I can't see that changing.

Nah. I've never had any trouble dating due to my height, it's always been my abhorrent personality that keeps people away.

It is a real thing in dating sites and whatnot that many ppl won't date below a stated height threshold, in that sense it does literally add difficulty. I have been told "x would never date you, you're too short" on a couple occasions and some other weird remarks over the years. but generally people who are going to filter potential partners by height are generally to be avoided anyway imo

When I was a teenager, I literally had girls literally tell me they liked me but that I was too short, or they'd date me if I was taller. It bothered me a lot but I didn't get weird and bitter about it or anything. The average height of a woman in the US is 5'4" so I was still able to find plenty of partners shorter than me or the same height or even a little taller, and the older I get the less it matters. I just always think of Prince who was 5'2" and just about the sexiest human alive. The hardest part is not internalizing American society's standards.

I’m a transwoman so I’ve kind of turned being 5’3 back to my advantage

I've 100% been rejected because of my height and I've seen how many women just swoon at my taller friends just for being tall. It's definitely a factor. Not the only factor, but i feel like ignoring it as an incel lie is as ignorant as saying an attractive face isn't a big deal when it's kind of obvious on its face that it is a major advantage when dating. You're not hopeless without one, but with one, you'll find life is certainly easier.

I've never had any problems and I'm barely 5'6".

I was not out trying to date supermodels but not everyone is so shallow that they have to date someone taller than them.

5'3 and didn't have many issues dating or finding people interested in me but I mostly dated lefty queers which may play a part. The only thing that negatively effected dating for me was tinder and the tinderisation of every online dating platform where i went from a few dates a month to nothing for years. The algo specifically refused to show me any lefty queers it was almost like they were erased from earth entirely.

However the one rly fukin annoying thing for me about being short is people really try to make it your problem and give you an insecurity about it. I've had people just outright tell me I'm too short and won't date me but i didn't ask them they just felt this internal need to put me down for some reason. I've had countless colleagues and customers have serious difficulties not mentioning it. Getting treated like a child when I'm a working adult etc etc. This isn't unique to being short however a lot of people really just can't help but body shame and have to tell others they don't personally want to fuck you like anyone should even care. Also my own mum would go on about it all the time saying she was really worried about having a short kid and for some reason she felt incredible disgust towards short men in general and would always tell me this idk why. Had a friend at school who was small like me and his mum somehow got ahold of growth hormones to give him? The result was he ended up looking about 40 at 18.

I've always maintained that the kind of person who ONLY cares about height is probably not someone I'd like anyway. Plus being smol and cute is fun regardless of what society says and I laugh when tall people struggle to fit on public transport. My plane seat? A throne.

If you walk around with your pockets full of coins women will think you're rich and be more attracted to you. Just giving you single guys some tips, no need to thank me.

I'm around 5'7"-ish and I mean I've definitely had people reject me specifically because of height, so it's kind of hard to believe that it doesn't matter.

But I'm also autistic and anxious and I've literally never touched another human in a romantic or sexual way once in my life and I'm 25 soooo height can't be the only factor. But how am I supposed to know what the factors are? It's not like I'm doing scientific research here, I'm just trying to live my life. I think where I live is the biggest factor, it is very hard for me to find anyone I would be interested in spending time with in person. I haven't seen a mask in public since 2020, and even then they were in the minority.

I mean acknowledging this as incel crap is kind of redictive bullshit.

I think height isn’t necessarily of tremendous importance in what makes a man attractive to women, but it’s seen as incredibly important in other aspects of life which in turn make dating harder.

Counterpoint do you think the trump campaign would have succeeded if trump looked like this

Chekmate libruls

A lot of girls where I'm from at least will explicitly tell you they don't want to date a short guy, it's an actual real thing unfortunately. I think it's mostly patriarchal brainworms (man must be big and strong or whatever) but it is what it is. It's not THAT dramatic tho I don't think like it's a total dealbreaker for most women, short guys do have partners but it's definitely harder for them.

As a 6'2" guy I feel like my height makes everyday life easier more than anything else. It makes me feel much less likely that I'd get pickpocketed/mugged. I have an objectively easier time climbing and backpacking than people shorter than me. Maybe if you're shorter than the average woman it's a disadvantage against taller women, but even then, personality and being a fun and nice guy are way bigger factors

Yeah I was 5’2” and got shin implants to make me 7’3”. Honestly I’m having just as hard a time. It doesn’t help that I can’t walk anywhere without falling but I’ve tried turning that to my advantage (“whoops! Better watch out I might fall into your heart!”)

I'm an enby, never had an issue with dating at 5ft 2, quite the opposite actually.

They've bad social skills obviously

never and i don't know anyone who's had that experience either

also imo it's not a moral failing for someone to be more attracted to tall people and it's kinda cringe to get hung up on that. not everyone has to be into you.

I'm 6'0 exactly and I like my height generally. But I'm also a non binary bisexual versatile submissive (would be funnier if I was a switch to complete the "never making mind up" joke) and sometimes I do wish I was smaller to be more feminine and also so I could be thrown about more. But on the other hand if I wear platform heels I get up to 6'6 which is also fun.

A confounding factor too is I'm pretty hot already and I'm socially awkward enough to ignore people being into me. So I can't really comment accurately on how my height is perceived.

it's fine you just gotta be either rich or funny

My short Comrades do you feel dating is as hard for you...

If you're a short femboy who is gay its not a problem because if nobody else does I will make sure I do.

This most certainly is usually a cishet problem.

~ 5'5" pansexual transfem enby (height gives no issues)

I'm not that short but not tall either.

My best friend though is like 5'3. He says dating was really difficult for him growing up. He says I do much better but I tell him he's got a better average. He only ever had 5 girlfriends and married the last one with a great kid and they're perfect for each other. Honestly beautiful family. That's pretty badass. So it's not impossible anyway. For all you shorter people, we all love you too!

My poor cishet comrades tbh

I guess it's "fine" to discriminate your relationship choices by height, some people seem to think so? Me though, I have dated people as short as 5'2" and as tall as 6'1" and I am happy & able to equally appreciate any height, Idk.

I think a lot of looks stuff is more like... it's never a barrier overall, but if you you're on the real extreme end it can make things quite a bit harder.

If your dream is to be with a really hot person, you either have to be rich or also somewhat hot. You don't have to be AS hot though, if you're nice or funny or whatever.

I can't really weigh in on height - I'm a middle of the road 5'11 (and a half), but I have felt that impending sense of doom when I've been dancing with someone in a club and then a 6'4 leviathan enters the fray. Usually it's alright, but if someone has a penchant for a tall man, then it can sometimes be inevitable. But the club is humanity at its most shallow and primal.

That said, I know a guy who is literally 4'11, a bit out of shape, wears the strangest outfits, behaves abnormally in ways that sometimes makes people uncomfortable, has a drinking problem, and has an autistic fixation with Zelda... and yet he literally always has a girl at his side. And he will go through about 3-4 a year. And it's with girls who could easily be with more stereotypically attractive men.

I'm like 5'2 and generally gay/queer, no, height's never been a problem.

Not a short dude, but I'm generally initially attracted to them more than tall dudes. I find them more aesthetically pleasing.