poolog

Non-autistic people lie constantly and refuse to investigate unless forced to do so. I don’t believe I am better, but I do believe I am different in a way that is independent of the material conditions outside of my body. The process of forming beliefs is significantly different for me and people similar to myself. Honestly it can be frightening watching allistic people actively choose to deny reality or choose their own in real time.

I am obsessed with truth and justice often to my own detriment and it has been that way from my very earliest memories. I cannot say that most people cannot be changed, they can, but it’s exhausting having to think for allistic people all the time. I have to hold their hand and walk them step by step through the mental labor they refuse to do. On top of already being disabled. I have to teach them how to be people, how to process ideas, how to learn and grow, so that they can be my friends. It’s like I inhabit a world of moldable living clay.

I know the Sankara quote that we are not allowed to say we are tired of explaining, but god am I tired. That’s why I like it here so much. On average there are fewer unchecked assumptions here.