Record the screaming play it back during a family gathering (one without kids present) bonus points if the pastor / priest is there.

Sounds like somewhere I used to live. It was such a shame about the neighbors because otherwise it was a great little apartment, very well located for me.

The neighbor directly above would occasionally commit domestic violence and I would hear some screaming and shouting and banging, and at other times would have loud sex in the wee hours, and at other times have insanely loud parties that lasted all night. Meanwhile, the neighbor below me had a chihuahua who would bark the entire time she was gone. This dog could literally bark for 10 or 12 hours a day without a break.

A very noisy fan next to my bed helped some. These days, a white noise device is probably a better option. Talking to them did nothing. Cops either didn't give a shit or the girlfriend refused to cooperate with charges or whatever because they also did nothing. Situation never improved until I moved.

I will never live in a shared space again.

• they're making more people. Maybe there's too many already
• we need more space for carbon capture and agriculture
• they're not making more space

TL;DR? Unless you can continue to be rich, you may find yourself needing to re-enter the dense housing market; either for more reliable services as the suburbs get their just rewards (hi Detroit) or for more features as the gym and stores and hospitals and physiotherapists are a 5 min walk away.

Did you live in a cheap wood-frame (aka Fire's Favourite Food) apartment where all the noises echo in the walls and then in our heads? I have a story about sharing a wood wall with an 11-occupant townhouse unit whose stairs were on the other side. Never wood housing: for the noise and because I don't need to lose everything again when the neighbor leaves his soup boiling.

But consider a proper-built concrete unit. I'm aware I have neighbours, as one of them will drop something and I can hear the impact, but the other 86399 seconds in the day afford no clues that this space is shared. The car I rarely use is secured downstairs, my triple-pane windows are above-ground-level, it's (mostly) fireproof, has gobs of natural light and is a/c cooled when windows aren't enough, it has a kickass rooftop patio and barbecue and pool room on 34 and meeting room and coffee shop on the ground and even space for moving vans under the building near the freight elevator. Food shopping and dentist and opto and gp and X-ray and urgent care and subway and takeaways are 5 min away when we want them, and at nights when we sit on our little private patio space it's still blissfully quiet despite the bustling walkways below.

There is a happy medium between land-hoarding bungalows and neighbours from hell.