this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
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For me it's not so much that I want alcohol as it is I want to not be stressed out. Alcohol facilitates that. I can de-stress without it but I rarely have the time I would need to do after a workday. Having a beer/drink when I get home gets the ball rolling so I can enjoy things again rather than just sit around with fried nerves.
Yeah, that's alcoholism.
I disagree. I don't need that drink, it's just helpful because I don't have unlimited free time to do breathing exercises or run or whatever other stress management would otherwise work. I have maybe 1-1.5 hours after I get done with everything else I need to do to try and watch a show or play a game or something else that's fun and if I'm still stressed from work I can't enjoy those things. If I have to use other methods to calm myself first I won't have enough time to actually do the fun thing.
I rarely drink on weekends unless it's socially. It doesn't even occur to me to do so.
Soooo, you can't relax without alcohol.
That doesn't sound odd to you?
Did you even read my reply? I CAN, I just don't have enough time on a week night to do so. I've tried numerous methods of doing so and so far having a drink is what works in the timeframe required. I'm certainly open to suggestions for better alternatives.
Again, you CAN'T, obviously. Otherwise you wouldn't keep doing it. It's a coping mechanism you found and now you got so used to it, any other method just doesn't cut it anymore. That's a dependence.
You can argue all you want that it's a time issue, but we both know that's not true.
Then why do I not drink when I have several hours available to relax instead of just 1-2?
No one starts out at the deep end of the pool. It took me 15+ years to get bad...
I'm not saying you are or aren't, but that behavior, if kept up long term, is problematic for many people.
You also seem overly defensive about the implication you could have a problem.
I say this as someone who was exactly like you. Then it was 3-4 after work, and drinking "socially" every weekend... Etc etc... And so forth.
Not judging, just throwing it out there for you to think about.
I appreciate your concern but I've been handling things this way for ~12 years now and it hasn't escalated. If anything I drink less now than in the past. I'm not worried. I don't even like getting drunk. What I'm defensive about is the implication that I'm an alcoholic from someone that knows next to nothing about my life and is probably unqualified to make that determination anyway. Especially when they ignore half of what I'm telling them and just says that I'm lying. As I said before if anyone has any better ideas I'm open to suggestions but so far nothing else I've tried gets the job done.
They're not overly defensive, they're just regular defensive because everyone is ignoring what they say and calling them a liar & an alcoholic over and over. They're being very reasonable and thoughtful, they're not calling people ugly names or insulting anyone's family. How is that overly defensive?