What she means, and perhaps you already know this, is that helping is sometimes not sought, but instead given to the unwilling and not wanting. Growth only occurs in greater steps when failure is an option. Helping stunts that progress.

I mean, she's literally the baddie. She ends up just being another egotistical Sith with a penchant for sophistry.

If anything, she should have taught players that the whole Grey Jedi concept is a bullshit con to lure people to the Dark Side. You don't get to trade Good Boy Points from feeding orphans for a murder or two of Bad Guy Points to stay "neutral."