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xkcd #2948: Electric vs Gas
(xkcd.com)
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I have been looking for new exciting and safe ways to ignite my balls
I mean, I wouldn't call riding a motorcycle "safe".
I'm not even arguing against them, it just feels like calling it "safe" makes it easy to dismiss all the safety precautions you should take and safety gear you should use whenever you do ride one.
Someone once referred to motorcyclists (specifically the ones without helmets or leathers) as "meat crayons" in front of me and I can never get it out of my head.
Well that's ... descriptive.
In the medical industry they refer to motorcycles as "donorcycles", since, in the event of a fatality you can usually still salvage at least one or two organs from the corpse.
That said, I own a motorcycle myself. :)
Inside the motorcycle community, there are two polar opposites: ATGATT (All the gear, all the time), who always brace for the worst and wear the heaviest gear they can find and SQuIDs (Super quick, immediately dead) who go at full speed wearing shorts and sandals. Pick your side.
I said "ignite your balls", it's got nothing to do with safety.