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Here's a crazy idea. Maybe videogame characters are separate from you and it doesn't matter if they're male, female, non-binary, etc. I always empathized (or didn't) with characters if I found their problems/feelings relatable. Their sexuality or whatever couldn't be less important.
But also having ones who you can relate to due to their shared characteristics with you is also important.
As a dude, seeing a fictional dude overcome his traumas and become a better person is heartening.
As a member of the queer community, seeing a fictional character who's also a member of the queer community learn who they are and learn to express themselves to others as who they are is inspiring.
Or seeing either of those characters go about their heroes journey while having those traits is also greatly inspirational.
For some people having the characters be more relatable to them in personal traits helps them to put themselves in their shoes. For others it's not that important. Both are are perfectly valid ways of going about it.