this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse
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As one of the "sex repulsed ace" folks who gets shot at / tokenised / ignored / etc by all sides
Allosexuality deeply normalised and world is scream. Can't use goddamn pleading emotes anymore because the goddamn allosexuals stole the goddamn emote to mean "bottom" and have turned anxious behaviours, nervousness, etc, into sexualised "bottom behaviour" to contrast "top behaviour" (fucking hell my fellow queers have recreated masculine and feminine gender roles down to their association with sexual behaviour! Infuriating!).
Also its fucking creepy that "pickup line" "stutter/blush/etc" "kissing / etc" being taken as "consent" is BACK but now its fine bc its gay?
Like god i don't want my anxieties taken as "i just secretly want the hornies??"
Oh and the jokes from other queers about turning everyone gay etcetc and i'm like "fuck you i don't wanna be gay i hate this whole sex and romance thing"
So yeah notta fun month here ! ! !
Turning bottom/top into a personality is so frustrating. The fact that people can't see how heteronormative it is is wild. I think a lot of it comes from how many people have discovered their sexuality online instead of in IRL communities. Few people top or bottom 100% of the time. But that doesn't matter much for your situation.
Queer culture is always going to revolve around sex and romance, for better or for worse. What do you want from the queer community? Friendship? This is one of those situations where having more community outside of bars and nightclubs would help a lot. Those places are more sexually charged and less geared towards deep conversation. Hopefully you can find a fun queer community center of some kind to hang out in.
I would like solidarity and for other queer people to not make me feel less queer because I'm not into sex or romance. I dont go to nightclubs, so Im afraid that advice is not very relevant.
Indeed, and that makes me sad and depressed. I dont imagine/think/want it to change, but I feel like i should be at least allowed to complqin about how alienating it is
lmao I think you misread it. I was saying that having more queer community that is not bars/nightclubs would be nice. I don't love them either.
You should complain about it, your perspective is important. I've always been the single person in the group, trying to be friends with people who have other obligations. Its frustrating and makes me feel less important as a friend. I wish people valued platonic relationships more. I want to do more than make someone feel less lonely while they look for a partner. I hope you find your own corner of community eventually.
ah, sorry for misreading comrade
idk if you've read his other posts, but he has literally accused queer people of "shoving [our] sexuality down his throat" and has accused people with a top-bottom dynamic in their relationship of being heteronormative as if he was some fucking terf vomitting out a sex negative manifesto in the 1970s. He can't tell the difference between being sex repulsed and being a literal homophobic kinkshaming fascist.