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How to get over not having a good college experience? (slrpnk.net)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by jerebear39@slrpnk.net to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I'm going into my last year of college and I kinda felt like I did college wrong. Like, my grades are good but everything else about college I failed at. Like socially and stuff, after 4 years I barely know anybody. I commuted(to avoid debt, and did so successfully) so maybe that's part of my problem.

But I feel college was supposed to be special time in your life and to me it has been indifferent. :/Thoughts?

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[–] masterspace@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The more I think about it, the whole thing really does feel like a strangely distasteful mix of an aristocratic medieval idea of graduating into adulthood and isolating prestigious academics with modern capitalism and industrial complexes (in this case the education industrial complex).

Yeah, cause like OP you spent college min/maxing grades instead of holistically enjoying yourself.

For many it's a chance to break away from their parents and discover who they are and what they want out of life in an idealistic setting; they get to be very close to all their friends and their only concerns are learning and thinking about how to best to live. For many it is the one brief period of adulthood free from the capitalistic drives of modern society that they'll ever get to experience.

It's telling that almost every major company that gets successful and prioritizes attracting employees ends up building a * campus*, to mimic the university experience.

[–] maegul@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, cause like OP you spent college min/maxing grades instead of holistically enjoying yourself.

I wouldn’t presume to know what I did at University, in part because you’re wrong, but also that’s just very rude of you.

You make good points. Some responses.

I’m also critical of the sparse and exploitative capitalistic world adults are thrust into. Things like campuses are basically public spaces and can exist without needing to be a student and can be enjoyed by people if they’re not exhausted from their job.
I think it’s idealistic to think college is a place where you can work out who you are. I think that’s an ongoing and a shifting target. I also think the isolated and idealistic setting can undermine the goal. As can the conflation with the pressure of establishing one’s future career (some need and struggle to get those grades for instance).
- It’s this ideology I criticised in my prior post. Life is long and complex these days, I don’t think this idea of maturing in the crucible of University to forever be prepared for the rest of your life makes sense. A crucible of self discovery and exploration is a good thing, but that’s where my point of integrating such practices into everyday life continually over one’s life comes in.
- Taking this further … what if someone doesn’t fit into this process or world view of idealistic college then capitalistic exploitation/drudgery? How would they discover this about themselves in this system? I’d argue they’d struggle and instead, as with the parent post, internalise any difficulties as due to their own failings, as the whole system is premised on measuring an individual’s performance and value, whether it be social or academic (and for the sake of a bit of tit-for-tar … I’m betting you have decent social networks both through your family and social skills and have always leveraged them to some extent in your livelihood, which is to say the system worked for you … genuinely curious about this).
Once can break away from one’s parents in plenty of other ways. Employment, a salary, living in one’s own home with their own finances can be very empowering especially compared to the weirdly impoverished conditions students are expected to enjoy.