As a nine year old I thought the Death Eaters were meant to be like the Nazis, but I guess Rowling is so dumb she didn't make the connection until after she wrote them?
It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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...does the sorting hat literally just measure your skull?
Hmmm yes... stong brow ridge, aggressive... pronounced occipital protuberance... recessed frontal bone, not the brightest are we? But focused, shallow orbital plate... you have the phrenology of... a GRYFFINDOR!
a skull-measuring device that can speak and read your thoughts to make it fun for kids
I think the idea is that it needs to be on your head in order to determine certain intangible things about you. The houses don't make much sense though and one of them is just "you're a fascist" so