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Red and Black Rule
(pawb.social)
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this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024
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Assigning a binary gender to enbys, nice one. I Wil not continue speaking about queer issues with you.
wtf i never did that. i state a fact in a lighthearted way during a fitting moment and you come in here, accuse me of things i didnt do TWICE and refuse to argue any further
again wtf??
Look, maybe you didn't mean to be rude. I choose to believe that you didn't want to insult people.
Buy you are immensely rude. Denying peoples own definitions of sexuality and gender is rude.
You say that liking enbies makes someone heterosexual. Which is wrong on multiple levels. I as a man can only be heterosexual if I exclusively am attracted to women.
And enbies are not women, even if AFAB. They are neither man nor woman, that's what makes them non-binary, that's the point.
"homo-" means same or similar. "hetero-" means different or other.
i am not usually the kind who immediately cites definitions of words, however in this case, this is how the prefix is used and understood all over the scientific world https://www.etymonline.com/word/hetero-
your definition of heterosexuality is very unusual to me and as a bisexual nonbinary woman, it definitely does not fit for me.
im curious tho, do heterosexual nonbinary ppl exist in your definition here? or is that mutually exclusive? and whats the equivalent of nonbinary ppl who arent attracted to other ppl of their own gender but only those of a different gender?
lastly,
nonbinary men and women exist and are valid gender identities.
I have worded my definition of my sexuality badly, you are right. What I am trying to say is that I am not straight if I am not exclusively attracted to "the opposite" gender. If I am also attracted to my own gender, and ones outside the spectrum, I can't be hetero.
I'm just sick of bi erasure in queer communities, being belittled by being called "half gay, half straight". Or even "oh you're just a cishet who wants to fit into queer spaces".
No. I am bi. Not half this, half that, not pretending. Maybe pan if one wants to follow strict definitions.
I genuinely did not know about people who define themselves as non-binary men or women, could you help me understand? That breaks all I've learned from the admittedly few enby people I know, whose entire goal was not being binary.
im sorry you had to experience that and i agree with you there.
bisexuality is its own thing and should be understood as such, not written off as a combination of two other sexualities and nothing more (and even so, claiming that ppl in queer spaces are just "pretending" is ofc incredibly harmful to everyone).
having said that, bisexuality is often (imo incorrectly) defined as being attracted to men and women. which excludes nonbinary ppl, even tho many bisexuals are also attracted to ppl outside of the binary genders.
so i think in this context, its comforting for me to think of the bi- in bisexual as meaning homo- & heterosexual (nb inclusive), rather than men & women attraction.
however as i said, this should not be used to understand bisexuality beyond just a surface-level and should never be used to discriminate or make judgements on someones "queerness".
so theres many different nonbinary genders ofc (its a spectrum so technically.. infinite?).
i identify as a demi-girl, which is someone who identifies as a woman, but not strongly enough to be considered fully on the binary side of it. perhaps it helps to visualize it on a spectrum with binary men on one side and binary women on the other. demigenders would be sort of, half-way between the center and one of the ends. making them non-binary but also perhaps more of one binary gender than the other.
hope this helps as just an idea. please keep in mind tho that this ofc doesnt fit for everyone who identifies as demigender, its just my understanding of it for myself.
ok, i see. this is a complete misunderstanding then.
i undersrand "heterosexual" as being attracted to a person of a different gender then ones own. this is what i operated on and i think if you go back and reread what i said, while keeping this in mind, this should clear things up.
now, what you did here is exactly what you are accusing me of. you are imposing your definition of heterosexuality onto me and denying my own.
ok, please keep in mind i am a nonbimary person myself. while i am not denying you your definition and never did, i consider claiming that heterosexuality is inherently nonbinary exclusive, to be quite binarynormative, bordering on nonbinaryphobic. heterosexuality is not just something for binary people. a binary person saying they are not attracted to nonbinary people because they are striaght, is a massive red flag to me.
if i were uncharitable, i could say, that your defnition for nonbinary is excluding nonbinary men and women (which is an actual and valid thing ppl identify as) and denying peoples genders. i wont tho, because i get what you mean.
i hope you can understand how you behaved immendsy rude here. you attacked me seemingly without even trying to understand what i am saying and in the process you repeatedly did exactly what you accused me of doing, arguably in worse.