Just because we can peacefully coexist and even work with the state apparatus for a time doesn’t mean we don’t seek it’s elimination.

You're doing it. That's the equivocation I was talking about: We're not co-existing with the state Malatesta put at the core of his definition, we cannot seek its abolition because it does not exist in that form, any more. We're not out to eliminate the muncipical organisation of garbage collection yet when you say "eliminate the state apparatus (that we currently can work with)" you're saying exactly that. Malatesta's state would never fund a rag-tag group of peasants doing things the lord didn't order.

“We don’t want to get rid of the state, we want to turn it into the state but one that’s completely unrecognizable as a state to the average person”?

Honestly? Yes. If in doubt just say that you want a better democracy: More participatory, more direct, delegates instead of representatives. I have no idea whether there will actually be a revolution or not because noone, anywhere, has ever actually come close to implement what's possible in liberal democracies, without changing the constitution, without changing laws. Take over at least a municipality before judging how the broader state will react -- over here our federal states don't really care, aren't allowed to care (subsidiarity), how a municipality collects garbage what's mandated is that garbage is collected which isn't really a thing I feel like rebelling against. There's some doubts I have about constitutional requirements, OTOH the law on municipal constitutions actually does contain an experiment clause, so you could make a council structure municipal law and state courts would uphold it. Is it undignified to have to beg state bureaucracy to let you organise your municipality in the way you want? Possibly, but also remember that the laws are in place to prevent fascists from abolishing municipal democracy, any anarchist federation would have a similar mechanism, "here's five standard municipal constitutions to choose from, if you like something else and it's still anarchist we can talk". In the mean time you can elect people to the official city council that take being a delegate of their neighbourhood council instead of mere representatives seriously. Yes, form a party if that's what's needed.

Zen (bear with me) talks about "sudden enlightenment, gradual refinement", what I want to say is that the revolution might actually already have happened, and what's necessary now for society is to find our bearings, to cast off old habits, that resistance we still face is not due to hierarchy still being in a strong position, but due to inertia and our own incapability to come up with horizontal modes of organisation to replace existing structures, and the courage to implement them, that this "the state is the enemy" talk is actually a mistake of ours, preventing ourselves from doing what we could because we confuse Malatesta's state for the one that currently exists.