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Let her fuck it up. It's XL, you can sand and refinish. It's also just a board. You replaced the old tool due to mistakes probably made by both of you over time, intentionally or accidentally. In 1 year the new board will have similar scars, and the trivial nature of said scars will also haunt your own memories of past strife taken too seriously.
Spoken from personal exp
We can't tell how OP broached the topic with their wife, so maybe they came across as condescending and accusatory, but I see nothing wrong with taking the old cutting board as the lesson learned and trying to do better at taking care of the new one.
Sounds like OP is prioritizing their relationship over the piece of kitchenware, but let them vent over it a bit! Definitely an overreaction on the wife's part.