Not great. Sad, lonely, behind on schoolwork. Called out sick yesterday because my sinus pressure made me too dizzy to be comfortable driving, and still procrastinated on a paper I had to do until the very last moment. Today I'm forcing myself to do some laundry and pick up the trash in my room so I don't completely fall apart, and memorizing my lines for the scene I'm doing in acting class. I wanted to play some BG3 but it just keeps crashing so I gave up.

I need to do something healthier with my day than sit around feeling shitty about my life, but I'm still adjusting to my new antidepressant, and apparently I'm going to cycle through all of my little depression modes one by one until they're evened out I guess. A few days ago it was undirected rage flowing through my nerves, today it's near-total apathy. But the silver lining here is that it's giving me some perspective on how I judge myself: way too harshly. It's weird that it takes not giving a shit about anything to realize that telling myself I'm a lazy useless sack of shit is just repeating a lie. I'm doing a lot. Too much, really. It's burning me out constantly.