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The Newtown Pippin Apple
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this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
184 points (100.0% liked)
the_dunk_tank
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It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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Holy shit this is great
The Autumn Glory " Well, science has finally created an apple that tastes like the spit in your mouth right before you vomit. This fever dream of a deranged Washingtonian scientist is shielded by a clever name and shifty marketing team who carelessly toss around manufactured flavor notes such as “caramel”, “warm cider”, and “subtle cinnamon.” But, make no mistake, this pee-stained lump-fruit tastes less like cider and cinnamon and more like a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor that someone accidentally spilled cinnamon on. Which makes this apple less Autumn Glory more Autumn Glory Hole.
That being said, this nasty piss floor of an apple does have the benefit of tasting unique. And while it certainly won’t be for everyone, there are an adventurous few who may actually enjoy a walk on the wild side. "
I kinda pity the person who had real life experiences to even think about those particular metaphors.