this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2023
612 points (98.6% liked)
Asklemmy
43946 readers
589 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
@zinklog
Listen
There is only one way to make people talk more than they care to. Listen. Listen with hungry earnest attention to every word. In the intensity of your attention, make little nods of agreement, little sounds of approval. You can’t fake it. You have to really listen. In a posture of gratitude. And it is such a rare and startling experience for them, such a boon to ego, such a gratification of self, to find a genuine listener, that they want to prolong the experience. And the only way to do that is to keep talking. A good listener is far more rare than an adequate lover.
-Travis McGee
from Nightmare in Pink
by John D. McDonald
This is a quote I’ll try to remember, and will probably forget by the time I get into a conversation.
I'm listening...
Really? Why do you think that? Is it something you struggle with? Are there situations in your memory where you think it is especially applicable?
It’s just something I need to get much better at. I’ve come pretty far from where I used to be, but being a good listener is something I still struggle with sometimes.
I see. What steps do you think you could take? How can you tell you struggle with it - have people mentioned it?
Well, the only thing you can really do is identify the behavior and self-correct. As for whether or not people have mentioned it…yeah, they have in the past.
How do you plan to self correct? What have people said?
You got me.
And also, are you picking up on what irmoz and I are doing? Take notes!
You sneaky fucking bastsrds…well played.