this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2026
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Fuck AI

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AI, in this case, refers to LLMs, GPT technology, and anything listed as "AI" meant to increase market valuations.

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TranscriptExplain it to me like I’m 80

Mom: What’s with these AIs escaping and hacking people? That sounds scary.

Me: You park your car at the top of a hill. You leave a note on the dashboard that says “please be good” and then you pull the parking brake. The car careens down the hill, smashes everything up, and you put out a press release saying “My car ignored my instructions! It hallucinated! It went rogue!” Your insurance company not only believes you, but invests a hundred million dollars in your company.

Mom: Jesus Fucking Christ

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[–] grue@lemmy.world 157 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

"Pulling" the parking brake sets it, damn it!

I refuse to acknowledge shitbox automatics with an atrophied third pedal that functions incorrectly instead of a proper handbrake lever.

[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

Yah, but that's only good for setting your back wheels on fire as in rolls down the mountain.

[–] sorter_plainview@lemmy.today 17 points 2 days ago (6 children)

I have no idea what the third lever is. Is there a new design where the parking brake is another pedal?

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Yep. Its a third pedal all the way on the left, not adjacent to the others. It pushes in to set and pushes again to release. It's a parking brake, not an emergency brake.

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Do cars even have emergency brakes? As far as I know they handled emergencies by providing you with two separate systems. But if you activate the parking brake, you turn into a drift car.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Because what happens when you brake in a modern vehicle is that your ABS system modulates the braking pressure and "pumps the brakes" to slow you down evenly and without allowing the brakes the lock up. The parking brake (the manual cable actuated ones) do not do this which causes the brakes the lock up. That's just simple physics.

The electronic parking brake will not (in any car I have ever driven) stop you if you are moving. It will keep you from moving if you are already stopped but if your vehicle rolls (and say you've lost brake pressure because you master cylinder exploded (I dunno, don't ask me)) your electronic parking brake will not stop you.

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The electronic parking brake is a motor that turns a screw that directly compresses the piston into the brake pads. Most cars do this to the existing rear brake pads and it doesn’t require any hydraulic pressure to work.

Some have a separate small caliper with the motor and no hydraulic connection at all.

The motors self adjust by measuring the load from the motor as it clamps down. Then rewinding a set amount when the brake is released. This can make it a pain to replace rear pads, since the screw will be extended too much to fit the new thicker pads/rotor. (You can rewind the screw with a 12v drill battery though and save a lot of time).

If all your rear pads were missing then you’d be screwed though!

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

And from what I heard the parking brake doesn't just lock up the wheels... It's not even connected to the front wheels. So you're missing most of the braking power. And that's also a reason why it's good for drifting.

Wonder how cars with electronic stuff deal with the legal requirement for there to be a second brake available.

[–] Damage@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 day ago

Handbrake used to be connected to a second set of brakes in some cars, I had a couple that had 4 disc brakes and then 2 drum brake on the back wheels connected to the handbrake

[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Lots of airbags and a loud horn /s

[–] crazyslinkz@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The electric one will stop you (but engages all brakes, depending on car model). Have to pull it twice and hold it. Safety feature to prevent accidental engagement.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I take your point but:

(and say you've lost brake pressure because you master cylinder exploded (I dunno, don't ask me))

[–] Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk 1 points 1 day ago

The abs pump doesn’t need the mastercylinder, it’s a separate entity further down the brakelines, as long as the system is free of air downstream it’ll work.

[–] xylol@leminal.space 3 points 2 days ago

Oh yeah the old school left brake pedal like in Ford's before they went electric with a button

[–] khaleer@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 days ago

A clutch pedal?

[–] BigPotato@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Floor parking brakes are ancient technology, even in manual transmission cars.

[–] Kanda@reddthat.com 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Used to be on really old cars, but now it's vogue again. It's just like the one in the middle except you push it with your foot

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I think it used to be on all Mercedes-Benz cars. Until everything in cars became electronic buttons.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 days ago

They've made those since at least 2000, they're common in minivans with no center console

[–] Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have an old truck with 4 pedals and tab that you pull to release the parking "brake".

[–] grue@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I actually do too, which I had forgotten about when I wrote the previous rant. Whoops!

(I think it's because of the front bench seat... the same model truck with bucket seats would have a lever on the middle of the floor.)

[–] TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

And, considering OP is talking to grandma, she might, too.

Oh, well. Thanks for the GIF, though. I'll find a lot of use for it, I'm sure.

[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

My truck has all four pedals. You pull the brake lever to undo the stompy brake.

My automatic has a stomp-on stomp-off pedal. My other automatic has a *gag* electronic parking brake switch...

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

I have a wheelchair van that's modified for people with poor leg function, so I have the third pedal and a toggle switch on the dash.

Bwah ha ha