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(CW: generally just uncomfortable topic) my sister is about to have a baby and I'm struggling with being supportive. (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by TUMBLE_BUS@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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My sister is pregnant and part of me is excited to be an uncle but part of me is also kind of scared.

I'm not a full blown anti-natalist or anything, but part of me feels it's a bit irresponsible to bring a kids into the world right now. And outside of that larger existential fear I also have some personal ones.

Me and my sis had a kinda rough childhood. Our parents weren't directly abusive but they had a really dysfunctional relationship that made growing up in the same house as them really stressful. The result is I'm kinda of jaded about relationships and have personally sworn off the idea of having a family, but my sister wants to. And I want to be supportive but I'm afraid of her repeating the same mistakes. Her and her husband haven't been together that long and while he seems like a good guy overall I question how compatible they are. And I already see the stress of being pregnant taking a toll on their relationship and am worried a baby is just gonna make it worse and they'll end up just like our parents, angry, resentful, and unconsciously taking it out on their kids.

Again, I love her, I want to support her family, I even like the idea of being a cool communist uncle, but I guess part of me is scared she's gonna repeat our parents mistakes. But I don't feel like I can be honest about that without really hurting her feelings.

Idk, just venting.

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[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Things won't be better for our kids or their kids, that's the core of the concern. The negative effects of climate change are only accelerating and are going to keep getting worse for a long time. Our ancestors did not reasonably expect that things would only get worse and worse for us, but we have very good reason to expect that.

Not to say anti natalism is the correct position but you have missed the fundamental problem people are concerned about.

Edit: and also like. Even if it's just the next two generations, if you literally only see decline in your entire life, even your grandchildren are exclusively seeing life get worse for, at least, their entire childhood, and from a far worse starting point. Your kids likely won't experience any improvement until late middle age. Things are going to be seriously grim by that point and won't recover even to where we are now before the grandkids are old. It's not just the world you're bringing them into right now and it's far bigger and worse than the political problems. We really have done worse than projected regarding the environment at every possible turn and there is no reason to expect that to change soon enough to prevent things like continent-wide famine and natural disasters. That's the world people are worried about putting their kids in, not the still relatively mild conditions today.