this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2026
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Every parent repeats their parents mistakes; to say that any parent doesn't do that at some point is foolish. The reality is people are not their parents, and people's experiences growing up with them will inform how people parent, positively and negatively. You have to work on the negative side of that coin all the time. Not for nothing though; you're not the one having a kid. You should put your energy into being involved in the kid's life as their uncle; supporting your sister's family in whatever way you can, will go a lot farther than simply being frustrated that they are having a kid at all.
Edit: But also, who are we struggling for if not for the kids? I've come to the conclusion a long time ago that most of what we're struggling for is something I'm never going to see. Our kids, though? Their kids? That's who the struggle is really for, isn't it? For all future generations? People have been having kids in the worst of times; times even worse than now, all throughout history. What makes our time so unique that we get to stand here and say that having kids in this time is a moral failure or fault of those who have them? You'd have to condemn every one of our ancestors for having kids under that worldview.
Things won't be better for our kids or their kids, that's the core of the concern. The negative effects of climate change are only accelerating and are going to keep getting worse for a long time. Our ancestors did not reasonably expect that things would only get worse and worse for us, but we have very good reason to expect that.
Not to say anti natalism is the correct position but you have missed the fundamental problem people are concerned about.
Edit: and also like. Even if it's just the next two generations, if you literally only see decline in your entire life, even your grandchildren are exclusively seeing life get worse for, at least, their entire childhood, and from a far worse starting point. Your kids likely won't experience any improvement until late middle age. Things are going to be seriously grim by that point and won't recover even to where we are now before the grandkids are old. It's not just the world you're bringing them into right now and it's far bigger and worse than the political problems. We really have done worse than projected regarding the environment at every possible turn and there is no reason to expect that to change soon enough to prevent things like continent-wide famine and natural disasters. That's the world people are worried about putting their kids in, not the still relatively mild conditions today.
yeah, in addition to this, i'll posit that perhaps your sister is looking to heal from her less-than-ideal childhood by providing a better childhood for her offspring. kind of a "heal through doing" thing. people have been having kids through the worst of times of all human history. i wouldn't want to but that's why i'm not gonna.
my SIL had been a jerk and a bully to her siblings (my partner) her whole life, well into her 20s when she should have grown out of it. she had kids and became a pretty good mom. she's not nearly as mean to her kids as she was to her siblings. and the kids are a hoot.