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(CW: generally just uncomfortable topic) my sister is about to have a baby and I'm struggling with being supportive. (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by TUMBLE_BUS@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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My sister is pregnant and part of me is excited to be an uncle but part of me is also kind of scared.

I'm not a full blown anti-natalist or anything, but part of me feels it's a bit irresponsible to bring a kids into the world right now. And outside of that larger existential fear I also have some personal ones.

Me and my sis had a kinda rough childhood. Our parents weren't directly abusive but they had a really dysfunctional relationship that made growing up in the same house as them really stressful. The result is I'm kinda of jaded about relationships and have personally sworn off the idea of having a family, but my sister wants to. And I want to be supportive but I'm afraid of her repeating the same mistakes. Her and her husband haven't been together that long and while he seems like a good guy overall I question how compatible they are. And I already see the stress of being pregnant taking a toll on their relationship and am worried a baby is just gonna make it worse and they'll end up just like our parents, angry, resentful, and unconsciously taking it out on their kids.

Again, I love her, I want to support her family, I even like the idea of being a cool communist uncle, but I guess part of me is scared she's gonna repeat our parents mistakes. But I don't feel like I can be honest about that without really hurting her feelings.

Idk, just venting.

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[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just treat her like the way I treat my boomer parents: they'll inevitably step on the bear trap that's in plain sight and I can do nothing but mitigate the damage caused by the very obviously placed bear trap. Go and be the best goddamn uncle her kid will ever have.

(This is assuming your evaluation of her and the prospects of her kid are entirely correct.)

[–] TUMBLE_BUS@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

(This is assuming your evaluation of her and the prospects of her kid are entirely correct.)

I'm def not 100% confident. They could be great parents, also they both have good jobs so at the very least the kid will be well off.

I'm maybe just dooming a bit cuz I've been feeling kinda anxious lately with all the shit going on in the world, it's totally possible I'm wrong and my sis is gonna love being a mom and the kid will be super happy. I think everyone here is right, the only thing I can really do on my end it strive to be a good brother and uncle.