Crossposted from https://lemmy.world/post/51921184
this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2026
150 points (98.7% liked)
Mental Health
7371 readers
188 users here now
Welcome
This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.
If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zcan be reached on Signal at TherapyGary13.12.
Rules
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
- No promoting paid services/products.
- Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
- No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
- No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
- Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
- If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)
If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.
Partner Communities
To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Is this a CBT concept? I always hated CBT. It felt so invalidating.
No. You can be upset and it can be incredibly painful without it being a maladaptive response. For example...not getting the job you applied for, being bullied, being rejected by your crush, a death in the family, etc.
I prefer DBT's approach at integrating both logic AND emotions.
I am happy that i went to the cross post because now I know that you dont talk about cock/ball torture....
I only briefly did CBT, but I thought it was more about controlling your behaviour so you don't spiral. I.e. your partner left a dirty dish out. You can feel annoyed (can't help that) but maybe don't have a tantrum like you did last time and turn it into a whole conflict.
DBT also very much addresses behaviors. It's in the name still after all haha. Both CBT and DBT are "behavioral" therapies. But imo it does it in a far less invalidating and far more reasonable and compassionate way. I used to try to "logic" everything away to an extreme degree...it was so counterproductive that it exacerbated the opposite...extreme emotional instability. Once DBT taught more on how to actually integrate the feelings, it felt a lot better. Your emotions are so incredibly important and what makes you human.
I tend to find that "maladaptive responses" are usually caused by repressing yourself, or incorrect restrictions on your own thoughts and activities.
For example, using your example, if you are the only one who does any of the cleaning and you feel like an unappreciated slave, and talking about it multiple times didn't change anything; the actual solution is to break up. But sometimes we do this thing where we "rule out" certain courses of action as "impossible". We can't possibly break up because x, y, z… etc. So with no other courses of action available, you start an argument about it and be passive aggressive as a pressure release valve, because it's now completely impossible to solve this problem since you ruled out the only solution.
It often takes an outside perspective or deep introspection to change our views.