Crossposted from https://lemmy.world/post/51921184
this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2026
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I tend to find that "maladaptive responses" are usually caused by repressing yourself, or incorrect restrictions on your own thoughts and activities.
For example, using your example, if you are the only one who does any of the cleaning and you feel like an unappreciated slave, and talking about it multiple times didn't change anything; the actual solution is to break up. But sometimes we do this thing where we "rule out" certain courses of action as "impossible". We can't possibly break up because x, y, z… etc. So with no other courses of action available, you start an argument about it and be passive aggressive as a pressure release valve, because it's now completely impossible to solve this problem since you ruled out the only solution.
It often takes an outside perspective or deep introspection to change our views.